Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Man's Guide to the Handshake!

As we embark on the first black leader of the free world, the most dominant country on the planet (today at least). . . I think it is necessary that we address a very important issue. Our blended leader will undoubtedly bring many cultures, races and ethnicity's together and when he does, we need to be able to greet each other. But for you guys, it's much more imperative! We're talking about . . . .

The Handshake!

Have you ever been in a situation in which you're being introduced to someone and you go in for a certain handshake and are surprised by an absolutely different one; one for which you weren't ready for at all? Awkward right?

So this Public Services Announcement is for the world to know when to use certain handshakes.

First, let's discuss the various types of handshakes. There's the standard corporate handshake, the one you use in interviews and meeting parents and people you're trying to impress. Then there's the dap (in it's many deviations). It's a handshake that has been infused into just about every community and culture, the right hand thumb grasp, chest to chest embrace with the left arm around the back, ended with the standard corporate grasp. Then there's what I call the Fresh Prince. That's the one you and your boy from life made up when you're like 8 and have been using forever. Only you and your small crew know it and it is something which is secret and special.

So here are the rules:

1. If meeting someone for the first time: You almost always use the corporate handshake (there are some instances where this may not be the case). First impressions are important and the last thing you want to make someone think is that you're trying to be the coolest kid on the block.

2. When reuniting with a good friend or associate: It's customary that you utilize the "dap". It permits you to show your affinity for this person while maintaining enough distance to ensure no sexual misunderstandings are had (this is accomplished by the arm bar that is created by the hand grasp). It shows how happy you are to see that person but, are calling out "No Homo" without actually saying "No homo".

3. When in a racially or ethnically imbalanced environment: It is almost always best to use an abbreviated version of the dominant race or ethnicity's handshake. This will require some honesty yall, so follow with me. If for instance you are a white male going to the gym to play ball (where you're likely to be outnumbered by the brothers 3 to 1 . . . unless you're at the JCCA), an abbreviated "dap" is used. This dap consists of the thumb grasp followed by the ending corporate shake. No chest bump or arm wrap around is necessary. It says that I'm cool enough to be here, but I'm not trying to be Markie Mark. However, if you're a black male going to a co-workers backyard barbeque, it's not a good idea to bring out the full blown dap as it may make others uncomfortable and create an awkward moment as described above. A mild corporate handshake will do. Not the supergrip you give when applying for a job or meeting your girls dad for the first time, but one that is appropriate for the setting at hand.

Please take heed to these rules as it is imperative to keeping social harmony and balance!

Comments requested!



Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Learning delayed gratification . . . . . still!


A mentor of mine for which I greatly admire (Greetings Big Brother E. Andre Thorn) once talked to be about one of the greatest deficits in the black community. He may not even remember this conversation as it was a tangent of another topic, but nevertheless it has stuck with me for many years after leaving the hallways of academia. That deficit is the lesson of delayed gratification.

Far too often, he asserted, we are so feverish about getting the things we've always coveted right now, that we don't delay our gratification for the things we really want tomorrow.

I must admit, this is something which plagues me daily. Coming from humble beginnings, I have most of my life been in a state of desire for nice things and for only a very short time been in a state where I can actually afford to purchase those things for which I have so long desired. I'm not boasting or bragging, for I am by no means asserting that I am "doing it big" to the point which I can have anything I desire, but God has been good to me in many ways . . . and often.

But this lesson of delayed gratification is one which is a tumultuous task, despite being one which provides bountiful blessings in the future. Wan't a new car today? Make insurance and car payments to a savings account for a year, get acclamated with the financial responsibility it will require each month and have a significant down payment to put down when you're ready to buy. You'll likely get a lower interest rate and have a lower payment. Sounds real easy, but have you ever had thousands of dollars in your account and nickled and dimed it on shoes and dinner and movies and drinks, etc?
It is my opinion that this problem resonates in our community so significantly because we for so long have been unable to share in the spoils of the American Dream. We for so long have not been able to own, to build, to better ourselves that when the opportunity presents itself, we go all out. Buying a house? Yes you should spend only about 5x's your annual income but you spend 8x's and scramble each month for the mortgage (. . . some of that example's blame should be blamed however on greedy lenders who prey on homeowners . . . refer t0 America's current economic crisis)!

As I begin to build my new life with my new wife, I implore that all those around me take head to this seldom learned lesson of delayed gratification (it's easier to do when everyone in your circle/environment is doing it too) and prioritize lifes want's against lifes needs (want = new television . . . need = financial security).

I promise to start too. . . .right after I get my new TV! Come on now, it's football season! LOL

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Truth Be Told . . .

Palin has really been hinging her argument on this "my state is an energy state and that's why I've got the experience to be v.p." stance. CNN's Peter Hambly gave a bit more perspective on her claims stating:

"In making her case, Palin did not note, as she had previously, that Alaska produces 20 percent of the country’s energy supply. Fact-checks in recent days have shown that Alaska provides about 14 percent of oil from American wells, and government statistics show that Alaska’s total energy production is 3.5 percent of the country’s total output."

So Pitbull Palin, despite what you're claiming, you're fudging the numbers a bit. I mean there's a bit of a difference between 20% and 3.5 percent . . . let's just look at some numbers.

If you . . . .

make $50,000 a year, a 20% raise would be another $10,000 a year . . . . 3.5% would be $1500. Difference?

have a $250,000 30 year mortage at 3.5% your payment would be about $1225 a month . . . 20% mortgage . . . $4177 a month. Difference?

Palin, do us a favor and give us the truth about your resume.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Are the American People Really This Simple?

The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull . . . .


The pit bull can't talk or write.

In one of the latest "Keeping them Honest" exposes, Palin is shown to be very ecstatic about getting over on the Federal government. Oops (click the image to the right).

There's a couple things that makes the Palin choice somewhat ridiculous to me (but more egregious is the fact that the American people are actually falling for it).

The GOP is asking that we ignore the fact that she is governor of the state with the 47th largest population (Alaska only beats out Vermont, Wyoming and North Dakota). I mean, it isn't her fault that people don't want to live on ice in frigid weather, right?

They ask us to ignore her exclaimed side swapping on issues, want us to have faith in a person that they don't even have faith putting in front of interviewers, and expect us to ignore the GOP's obvious indecisiveness with respect to what makes you "experience eligible" to be in the white house.

But all these things I expect. . . we are in a Political race and the mud will be slung.

However, my true dissapointment comes in how the American people are reacting to this play on their emotions and in my opinion, prejudices. I mean, the polls actually got closer after this announcement was made (or so they - - the pollsters - - say).

For example, any questioning of Palin's family or religious views and it's a vicious attack on a female for being female. What? We damn near tarred and feathered Obama for Rev. Wright(Wrong) and noone came to his offense. Put Michelle on the cover of The New Yorker as a sister soldier figure right out a blackxpolation film and not a word. Satirical humor it was. Asking questions, picking apart their lives and digging deep SHOULD BE WHAT IS EXPECTED of a candidate for the highest office in the world.

From the beginning, I have stated that my biggest fear is not something under the rug that would be found out about Obama. My fear is that what many of us have known for the majority of our lives will become more prevalent than in the 60's. PREJUDICE exists!

When you scrutinize Obama, you have to deal with the fact that most of your concerns about this man are superficial. Even I looked at him with an awkward eye at first. Is this dude real? Can he care about everyone like he does? But after months and months of prodding, he still stands tall, valiant and humble in every instance. Yes, it is amazing.

So people start searching for reasons to not believe. And what better reason not to vote for Obama than to throw a good ol, small town, Ms. Alaska or whatever in the mix to play on the prejudices that have been driven into the minds of Obama's naysayers since birth. 8 years of government down-turn? Ignore it . . we've got a white female in the show now? Economy on the brink of failure and Soldiers in war for nothing? Ingore it .. . we've got a pit bull in lipstick . . she can woo our stock prices up and Bin Laden out his cave with a smile! I only hope (and pray) that the American people aren't as simple as they seem to be in the first few weeks of the Palin announcment. We're smarter than this. I have faith in that. . . .

And if not, I'm moving to France!