Question to the Ladies that Tell: WTF?

We all know Tiger was wrong. Infidelity shouldn't be explained away, applauded, looked past or disregarded simply because you are the best at anything you do (Micheal Jordan being the exception . . . come on Juanita . . .come on Son . . . it's MJ.). It's wrong and those who participate in such activity should be shunned (and taken to the bank in divorce court . . . remember it's cheaper to keep her! Blues Version here - Country Version here).

And his wife should perhaps be applauded for taking matters into her own hands (if the story is true). There's no better way for a woman to let a man know she's hurt than to beat down on his vehicle. And beat down she did.

But my question to the ladies who enter these affairs . . . knowingly . . . is, What the Fizzuck are you doing putting your exploits on blast like that?

Now I pardon those women who are lied to from the beginning, not told about the wife, start banging dude and fall in love while ignoring the fact that you see him only once a week, for the same amount of time and only at your crib and notice that he has two cell phones for only one of which you have the number to. . . dumbass!, only to find out that he's got a family on the other side of town. You didn't know (yea right!). Revenge may be due. But I'm not talking about you.

I'm talking about you low down, I've always wanted to do the horizontal limbo with a star, yes I know he's married with kids, but I think i've got the magic vajayjay type of bust down (bust down defined here for you non Chi-Towners)! You're despicable. You give cheaters a bad name. 31 months you've been bumping uglies in discrete hotels around the nation and now you want to come clean? That's not your role! You knew your role . . . from the beginning. You signed up for it! Matter of fact . . . you should be taken to court for a breach of verbal contract.

You can clammor all you want about Tiger's responsibility in the matter and you are 100% correct, but dude wasn't lying . . . to you at least. He can't. HE'S F'IN TIGER WOODS! If you've ever used Gillete, Nike, Buick, Wheaties, Played PS3, wear a TAG watch, had a damn Gatorade . . . you know dude was locked up, married, with a hot wife! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

So to all you attention seeking, money grabbing, scum of the earth cheating ass heffa's. Understand you're Sam Bowie to MJ. You may have been the number one pick (for the night) . . . but you'll never be his MJ!

Tramp.

Why God is Necessary?

I believe there is a God. I believe he worries about each and everyone of us. I believe that he sets each and everyone of us on a path toward greatness from the moment we take our first breath. I believe he has high expectations of us and are disappointed when we do not meet those expectations, as any good parent would be. But what if there wasn't a God? What if our being here was the result of chance and time passed. What if all that we have accomplished as the human race was not a plan of the Almighty, but succession alone?

Perhaps this explains some of the tragedy and turmoil that we are facing today. Because without a God, without a Supreme being for which you would expect to have to answer to, the choices that we make would culminate without repercussion. This is why God is necessary.

I have lost a portion of my faith in the last several years. Not faith in God almighty. My faith in him as the guiding light has become more strong in these recent times. I have lost some of my faith in the goodness of people. I have lost some of my faith that by treating people right and making decisions and choices which are absorbed in self, you are guaranteed reciprocation. More than ever before do I feel that the goodness and sensibility that we are provided with isn't enough for man to behave in a fashion respectful of other men. This is why God is necessary.

I am an opinionated person (hence the blog). However, I have never felt so strongly of any opinion that I felt it necessary to make my opinion, feelings, state of mind and perspective heard by taking the life of another. We read, watch and listen to news stories daily about the War of Religion being waged in the Middle East. Persons who, because of their passion for their beliefs, feel it necessary to take the lives of others. This is why God is necessary.

President Obama stated at the Fort Hood Memorial yesterday that, "No faith justifies these murderous and craven acts; no just and loving God looks upon them with favor, And for what he has done, we know that the killer will be met with justice -- in this world and the next."

No matter where you stand on religion. No matter what belief you maintain or deity you kneel before, God is necessary so that we in the least have a feeling that someone is watching us and will take note of how we have lived. Day in and day out, we prove that we don't have the ability to govern ourselves. From the beginning of time, we have shown that free will is a gift that, for some, is too much to handle.

And on this Veteran's day, after reliving the most recent tragedy which has occured at Fort Hood, we are constantly reminded that God is necessary. If not for the sole reason that because of their belief in God's grace, we will continue to have brave men and women who enlist to protect us.

Thank God for making these golden men and women feel it necessary to put their lives on the line for our country in his name.

Things I Keep Forgetting to Remember: What you're saying is a fraction of what you're communicating.

Communication. This poorly used tool can perhaps be the most significant contributor to much of the issues we encounter on almost every level of our society. Our inability to execute effectively with respect to communication is a hidden hindrance regarding the progression of our individual, relationship and career development. Being inept at this so very important skill results in unnecessary stress and conflict and is essentially inefficient.

I've ran into very few people, unless of course they have been well educated and trained on the value of communicating effectively, who do it well. Myself included. Yet it is something that we are required to do almost every waking minute of our life. Practice makes perfect, right? So why is it that, despite all our practice, we seldom get it even close to perfect?

It's my opinion that there are a few practices which we have engaged in so long not knowing that we were in essence practicing in err.

1. Communication is less about what you are trying to transmit, and much more about how it will be received: Have you ever been told something by someone that was absolutely correct however, based on the delivery of the message alone, you couldn't accept it? I'm sure you have. We all have. We focus so much on what we are trying to transmit that we give little credence to the way that it is being received. No message is so correct that it can't be muddled by it's delivery. The content of our message becomes so prominent (to us) that we seldom take the time to make certain that what's in the package is not overshadowed by it's poor presentation. The disregard for delivery is in a sense selfish. Focus on the content is a "all about me approach". It puts heavy importance on what you have to say versus ensuring what you have to say will be heard. It's the "I/Me" approach to communication despite the fact that it takes "we" to have communication at all. Delivery sometimes is more poignant than what actually is being said.

2. Everything you think or feel or want to say doesn't have to be said (especially if you aren't able to communicate it effectively): Lately I've been trying to ask myself (before I speak) whether or not what I'm about to say is going to contribute in some sort of way. This is very, very hard to do. But it means so much when communicating. I'm full of answers. I feel like I have experienced a lot of life and as a result could provide a certain insight into most topics. However, as stated above, this is a very "I/Me" approach to communication. I've learned (recently . . . .very recently), that my input isn't always desired. What I may think, feel or want to say may not be necessarily warranted in every situation. I'm a self proclaimed poor listener. I think it's the man in me. I listen with the intent to solve. I'm about as close to being a better listener as we are to having flying cars like on the Jetson's. But I'm aware and more importantly, trying to be better. Not providing your input could be an effective and necessarily valuable form of communication.

3. Practicing good communication skills on the little things will better prepare you for when you have to communicate on the BIG things: The reality is . . . proper practice does make perfect. So if you're practicing how to do something/anything the right way, chances are you'll become better at it. Take shooting Free throws in basketball for example. Usually we practice shooting free throws while well rested with fresh legs and ample stamina. It permits us to perfect our form and reinforce good habits such as bending your knees and following through. However, good coaches not only instruct their players to practice while rested, but they require that you practice free throws after running really hard and tiring your self out. Why? Because that is more than likely going to be the "game time" situation. If we practice good communication skills on the little things in our relationships (taking the trash out, leaving the seat up, picking up your socks, helping with the dishes) we will be better prepared for "game time" (conversations about finances, hot-buttons, our futures, going out with the fellas, constructive criticisms, feelings, in-laws, sex, quality time, physical/emotional/spiritual needs, etc.)

4. There's so much you're saying without opening your mouth: Non-verbal communication screams. It yells. It shrieks. All without making a sound at all. That's about all that needs to be said.

I'm A Chauvinist . . . And I didn't even know it!

If you know me, I love basketball. I think I'm pretty good at it too (not like NBA/D-League good . . . but one of the first four to get picked from the side good . . . plug!). I'm no longer in the shape I used to be and I probably have lost about 6 inches off my previous 8 inch vertical, but I'm still decent. More importantly, I'm horribly competitive. So despite my noticeable decline in skill, I think I can still hang with the youngins and I thirst for opportunity to play against the best male rec ball players I can.

And thus the reason I am a Chauvinist.

You see, Obama recently received some attention for hosting a basketball game at the White House that was attended by all males. Asked if he was sending the wrong message, Obama stated that the retort was simply "bunk" (what's bunk?).

So in addition to being a socialist muslim with intentions to ruin our nation . . . Obama (and me for that matter) are chauvinists.

I play in three basketball leagues, none of which are co-ed. The only women around are the signficant other's in the stands (my wife is usually there to provide me in-game criticism support) and the lady running the clock (who really doesn't help the female argument as she often starts/stops the clock late because she's texting about nail polish and poodles). I prefer it this way. I think that there are some physical differences in men and women (go figure) that provides a more challenging game with 10 guys on the court. I respect the women's game (my wife has a mean jumper and when we play ball at our gym, I prefer to pick her up because she's usually a much better/smarter player than the other guys . . . despite the size she gives up. And my sister was like All-State and used to be a killer), but I prefer to play with the boys. It's not as if I expect some scantilly clad, top heavy women on the sideline cheering me along (. . .wait . . . nevermind).

So what's the beef? Why is it that Obama has to invite a chick, braud, woman to play with the fellas? Has our Nation become that sensitive to everything? And because he's the POTUS, does that mean that he can't have "guy time"? Will they ever give this guy a break?

The Problem with America: It's People . . .

The people of America have no clue what they want. You can easily decipher this from the headlines and news stories that show the teeter totter of American opinion of our President, his administration's policy and efforts and our stance on societal issues. Perhaps all that can be concluded is that we are a nation of uncertainty. Our passion for individualism sometimes falls victim to our collective aspirations, and vice versa.

For example, not more than a year ago, we sat appalled at the actions and decision making taken by high level executives who, while begging the American public for taxpayer funded bailout assistance, flew costly corporate jets to hearings with Congress, held lavish retreats at plush resorts and paid themselves millions of dollars in bonuses for a job not-so-well done. We wanted them ran up the pole and shunned for their inconsiderate and greedy behavior. Turn the clock forward and the POTUS' Pay Czar begins to take proactive action to limit the executive compensation packages that are based on presence and not performance and the American People call for revolution as the Government is overstepping their boundaries, meddling in private capital markets. We don't know where we stand and thus we don't stand for much at all.

Consider the recently discovered fraud in the tax credit for housing purchases (which found that several four year old's took out home loans last year according to their taxes . . . . right, go back and read that again). The American people, many of which who bit off more than they could chew regarding their home loans, called for the Government to step in to assist the victims of the mortgage debacle. The Government offered assistance by laying out tax credits to encourage continued lending and purchasing. What occurred? Lenders slowed the distribution of credit to the point that the process moved like molasses. And the American people. The people who were afraid that rampant foreclosure would drive their home prices down. Those people who begged the Government to step in and protect their investments. Those are the same people who took advantage of Government implemented assistance by having Fluffy the family cat claim an $8,000 tax credit and receive a $10,000 check in the mail (I wonder how Fluffy signed for that?). And after doing so, those same people gathered at town hall meetings clamoring that the Government through health care reform would be able to check their account balances in their private checking account. Are we this scared or just plain stupid?

Socially, We The People exclaim inclusiveness. Yet we define inclusiveness based on those who think like us, talk like us, walk like us, act like us, eat like us, live like us and make love like us. A measure sits on Obama's desk asking that a hate-crimes law with regards to crimes against persons based on their sexual orientation be ratified. The American people who's Constitution asserts that "all men are created equal " have balked at the notion that "all men" may include gay men or gay women. Their claims: that conservative speech against abortion and homosexuality will be stifled. CNN reports that 77,000 hate crimes were reported last year. 77,000. And the American People's concern is the ability for conservatives and religious groups to run anti-abortion ads? How minuscule does that measure up to the 77,000 who were victims of said crime? Is their rebuttal exemplary of the inclusiveness that they say exists in the fabric of our nation? Or is that garment something that is torn and tattered by the truth and reality that our nation is much more divided than we ever could imagine?

The problem with America. It's people. A people born of a desire to be free of tyranny yet willing to ostracize at will. A people committed to lending a helping hand but only to those who's ideology, values and party affiliation match the hand that is being lent. The problem with America. It's people. A people who have yet to commit to their nation's founding documents which have become more mission statement than binding vision and commitment to the people which it governs.

That's like the POTUS calling the kettle . . . . white!

So, Senator McCain is a bit perplexed that President Obama hasn't replied to his, not one, but two requests for a post-humous pardon for Jack Johnson. If you don't know who Jack Johnson is, click here then smack yourself for not being up on your black history. Jack Johnson was the Tyson . . . no Holyfield . . . . no Lewis . . . nope, I got it. . . . Ali of his time. Born of slaves, Johnson was a beast in the ring. No question are today's athletes bigger, faster and perhaps stronger. But none of them go 20 rounds, yes, 20 rounds in a fight! Jack Johnson was the reason a "Great White Hope" was coveted. Cause he was knocking the holy hope out of white boxers for years. The man caused race riots by beating the crap out of people. Made Congress pass legislation that outlawed filming of fights because of the many white men he was knocking out. And the kicker. He was smart. Considerably smart (this may have been more scary than his ability to punch you out back in those days).

But he had a flaw. The Kobe flaw. He loved him some white women. He eventually fled the states after being charged (twice) for taking women across state lines for "immoral purposes" (good thing they still don't chase people down for this. so many rap stars would be in jail that they could host prison yard concerts to cover the expenses of the entire Federal Penitentary System). But not only did he court women. He courted women of the most taboo persuasion. WHITE WOMEN! And he married them too! THREE TIMES! And he wasn't ashamed to let the world know that "once you go black, you never go back" as he touted his muscle in the bedroom.

Anyhow, Back to Senator McCain.

First and foremost, I must say I respect McCain. I think he's a stand up and noble guy, a war veteran and a all-around good dude (despite his "that one" f'up in the debates). I even support his efforts at the posthumous pardon. But I can't help but think, why is he giving Obama so much stress about this?

First is the fact that this isn't the first request for the Jack Johnson pardon. They asked G'Dubbya to do so, didn't happen. Not only did it not happen . . . but I bet you didn't even here about it (I know I didn't). Wouldn't it have been a more poignant statement for a white Senator and President to have got this done? Second is the inevitable retort that will come as a result of Obama answering his request. If Obama doesn't do it, he'd be sacrificed by the media as not having a respect for his black past. If he does do it, Obama is attempting to create reparations for all the prejudice and racism that has befallen black people. The POTUS can't win.

So, after all the many years of racism and prejudice that black men have received, they now (through our POTUS) have to apologize for it? The posthumous pardon is a sign of great respect and perhaps more importantly provides a sense of closure for the wrongly accused family and descendants. But how many post-humous pardons must be given out for the mistreatment, false accusal and imprisonment of black men (yesterday and today) to be rectified. That's not to say that they shouldn't be done. I just think it's a little perhaps. . . awkward. . . for someone to ask the first Black POTUS to say "I'm Sorry" on the government's behalf for the mistreatment of one of Black America's greatest figures.

But what can you expect.

Learn more about Jack Johnson here.

On The (Sorta) Lighter Side: Meet Trichelle - The New Black Barbie!

I'm going to get it for this one.


I wonder how much fun Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Saturday Night Live (. . .actually, I'd probably love the Saturday Night Live joint) is going to have with Trichelle. I can see it now.


Glenn Beck reporting on the new black Barbie:

"He put the Mattel folks up to it like he was pressing for Chicago to get the Olympics. Why? Because Obama hates white male America! And what better way to get at white male America than to make a supple skinned, full lipped, flared nose sexy and attractive Barbie doll that'll have young white girls wanting to grow firm rumps, have wide hips and weave. No Beyonce booty for our little white daughters Obama! We'll keep the flatback. We're not fooled by your attempts to indoctrinize our young white boys with the desire of this biatch black Barbie. First you make Serena, with her thick legs and rear, number one in professional woman's tennis. Now this. To all the little white men our there. Don't fall for it. Don't fall for the sensual taste of the black woman like Bill Maher fell for superhead. Fight the urge. Don't break up the white familial structure. Please don't let Obama win you over with Trichelle."

Rush Limbaugh reporting on the new black Barbie:


"The Black Barbie has landed. The world must reject Trichelle. She is not American. American women don't have flair and style like that. And Trichelle. If that isn't an attempt to appease Barack Hussein Obama I don't know what is! They practically named the doll after his wife. I'm afraid for our nation. If we make an aspiring black Barbie that is coveted like all other Barbies, you know what could happen. [whispers] They may think they could aspire too. They just may think that being black is beautiful. And for the love of our nation. We don't need that!"

Why Not Marie (. . . and I know I'm biased)?

I'm for the black Barbie. My cynical attitude understands that this black Barbie is merely an attempt at tapping into the black economy. But hey! It is what it is. I just don't know if people put enough thought in it. Does the black barbie, with fuller lips and wider nose have to have hip hop clothing? Can't she wear cardigans and flats clothes like the white Barbie? And why must she always have a little sister in tow? Where's mom? They say it's because she's "mentoring" but really. . . . really?

And why Trichelle? I deplore the idea that this is so common in the black community. If I take a sample of my closest friends girlfriends, fiancee's or wives, I don't come up with that. My wife's name is Marie, my good friends Kobie, Jeff, Sacramento and Chip ladies' are named Kenya, Niela, Tiffany and Stephanie. That's a 2 of 5. Wait. . .that's 40%. hmm. Maybe I need a larger sample set. But anyhow, you get my point. I don't want our young daughters thinking names like Lemonjello, Lercretia, Alize and Qiona ( . . .however I did just see an Asian girl of Wheel of Fortune with that name) are the norm. Can we get more Ashley's, Jill's, Marie's, Cathy's, Heather's in the black name database.

My other concern is what's going to be the outcome of the revamped black "Ken" doll? Is it going to be some 6' 2", ripped, basketball playing, fast running, barely got his GED, slanging, 24" rims riding, 9mm Gloc packing, five baby momma having Wesley Snipes black . . black dude . . . . with cornrows (the name of the doll would be Micheal Vick). Where does it stop?

This blog rant sponsored by Mattel. Black Barbie doll sold seperately. Baggage, issues due to lack of father in the household, processed hair, issues with constant plight for independency, two baby's by two different baby daddy's and section 8 housing not included.

All that most of us can do is pray . . . .

Warning: This video is horribly graphic. It brought me to tears watching it. Please don't take this cautionary warning as a joke! Watch the video here: http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/09/derrion-albert-vigil-and-march-postponed.html.

Pray. That is about all I could do after watching this video. I was angry, horrified, ashamed, torn and appalled. But all I could do is pray for this young man's family and the souls of those involved in taking his life. Pray. That's all that any of us who are not eyewitnesses to this tragedy can do. Those of you who are, please step forward and provide as much information as possible.

And perhaps that is a component of what is missing. Timely and proper prayer. I wonder if the young men who are charged with the crime are now praying, asking God to forgive them of their sins. I would ask them, as they kneel in their holding cells begging for forgiveness and to be absolved of their actions, did you pray before you swung your first punch, made your first kick or picked up the 2x4 that would cause the blunt force trauma that took this young persons life? Timely prayer. Praying post action is usually an effort to exculpate ourselves of poor decisions only after we have realized that our decision making was poor. It is a retroactive action. And it most definitely isn't the proper prayer. I would ask those individuals a second series of questions starting with do you feel your prayer is now proper? Do you feel that perhaps praying for better decision making before you take action (in this or any other situation) would be more proper? One of the greatest gifts God has given us is free will. I would ask if that free will is something that they cherish or abuse regularly? That free will is soon to be taken away from them. God willing.

Many of us are asserting blame. And even still, some of us are hoping to be excused of their contributions to this event occurring. A parent of one of the charged stated that their son is "not a bad kid". Perchance this poor assessment of child behavior is what makes this parent a "bad parent" for they have not been able to distinguish behavior which is to be considered "bad" and more importantly take necessary action to correct that behavior. Children make mistakes. Children that are properly raised do not make such egregious mistakes in which their errs takes the life of another. But it seems we are all looking for a pass. This parent, in a time in which they are saddened by the notion that they are soon to lose their child to prison, should have the compassion to understand that their loss is second to that of the loss that Albert's parents must feel. But in making such judgment towards their child, they also must judge themselves for they in essence have failed as a parent. Harsh. Perhaps. A necessary condemnation. Absolutely. For this attitude, this demeanor, this premise is what is lacking in our world today. That the effort that we put forth into raising our children will be reflected in the choices that those children make.

In reading the many desolate articles that have been written on this tragedy, I noticed something that may not necessarily stand out, but when scrutinized has to be a major contribution as to why our children are making poor decisions and finding themselves in situations which require decision making skill that they perhaps have not been properly prepared to make. Bare with me as I connect the dots. Eugene Bailey's mother has commented. She has another son, Vashion Bullock, who she pulled out of Fenger High School previously due to danger. Her last name is Smith. The primary respondent for the slain student's family is the Grandfather. From the articles I have read, no "fathers" have commented. Is it apparent now? The absence of the shared surname and lack of "father" respondents speaks to the dissolution of the familial structure that is a necessity for the rearing of a child. Perhaps in our praises for those who are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T we have encouraged the idea that a unified effort isn't necessary to developing a child to be a productive participant to our society. We've heard it before. . . It takes a village to raise a child.

Lastly, President Obama has been under some criticism lately regarding the notion that the United States will not be able to solve all the worlds problems on its own. He has been shunned for in essence communicating to the rest of the world that the United States, in all it's self proclaimed greatness, may need some help. That sentiment is exactly what has created the opportunity for the Fenger High School brawl to occur. The idea that it is not required that we all contribute to providing solutions to these ills. That perhaps one action, one person, one thing can make this all better. I implore that everyone must begin at home and continue their efforts in their community to make these occurrences of violence rare versus regular.

And if you can't sign on to that notion, then perhaps you should just pray.

It's never to late to. . . . . . . . .

It's easy to blame anyone other than ourselves for the issues that plague our lives. Unfortunately, it's far to common an occurrence amongst us all. Taking into account what has happened to you in a situation is far easier than giving credence to the idea that your actions (or lack of action) long before the situation even reared its ugly head may have put you on an inevitable path to the place where you are now; attempting to assign blame. It's an odd phenomenon that we assign the failed outcomes of our decisions (oft labeled re-actions) on the actions of others, yet in most cases take full ownership for our decisions that result in successes. I suppose when the outcomes are positive, there isn't enough praise to be shared.


Life is a host of choices. And learning to make better choices should be the goal we are continually seeking to achieve. If our effort at making better decisions/choices is as invigorated as our effort at assigning blame, we will most often have outcomes which we can be satisfied with regardless of their being viewed as positive or negative. Problem is, we are most often compelled to blame others as it alleviates us of self responsibility.


It's never to late to take responsibility for one's actions. The premise that "what's done is done" is a fallacy. I assert this to be true because many times, the effects of our "what's done is done" actions are much more everlasting than we ever would imagine. Many of us have had things done to us which have had lasting impressions on our psyche which have in turn become distinguishing and formidable components of our development as individuals. The experiences of our past have made indelible marks and influence on the way we make choices and decisions in our lives. It is often heard when people stand in front of podiums and audiences accepting awards and acknowledgement for a job well done that they are simply products of their environments, from well raised homes for which their mothers, fathers and mentors have ingrained upon them invaluable life lessons and guidance which has made them who they are today. Yet, when we are stand at the feet of judgement, we don't often enough take into account that that same upbringing and set of experiences may have contributed to poor estimation of the results of our choices and decisions.

It is a requirement that each of us take responsibility for our actions, absent of other's actions. It is never to late to do so. Regardless of the time that has passed in between. The first step to doing so is acknowledgement. We must give admission to the cue that our yesterday affects our present and tomorrow. We must give admission to the cue that those things that have made impressions on us from our past enable our decision making today. This is something we do without hesitation when the outcomes are admirable. However, when our decisions turn for the worse and cause unsettling ripples the pool of life, we must give just as much admittance to the fact that addressing our past is imperative to making better decisions in our present and tomorrow. Resolution of yesterday's issues isn't easily done for we have for so long muddled through. Yet the resolution of said issues has the opportunity to bring a certain peace that will permit us to make choices with sound and clear mind versus a mind clouded by the influence of unfortunate experiences of our past.

It's never too late. . . .

Is there something you thought that it was too late to resolve?

There's nothing wrong with this picture. . . .Absolutely nothing!

Nope. I know you want to play the card here. But you're wrong. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. So stop it. Stop before you start with your anti-conservative, they must be racist slander. This is just the American right as defined by our great Constitution to criticize our government! Nothing more, nothing less. It's our patriotic duty as American citizens to let our government, a government for the people and by the people, know when we are not pleased with the direction that they are taking our Country. We love this country, and we are simply expressing such in our tea parties and posters and emails that show our lack of support for President Mr. Obama's decision making. You can attempt to make this a black or white thing but it isn't. And you know it. We're just "expressing concerns that the health-care proposals would make the quality of medical care worse in our country." We really need you to understand that. It's not about his tar complexion or race at all. So please, please don't make this a racial thing. Despite our country's long time negative infatuation with pigmentation, oppression based on ethnicity and undermining of a particular subset of people based on their skin tone . . . this has nothing to do with that.

Respectfully,

Conservative America

I Can Read Too! Part 1 : Jason Chaffetz . . .

"America has forgotten how to read, or at least most of us. This must be the case because it seems that nowadays, we must be read to by our legislators and radio commentators for we don't seem to have the skills to make decisions on our own. So I have decided to read for us. I Can Read Too! is an series poised at giving context to the claims that politicians make based on snippets and excerpts that they provide to us of humongous bills and legislation passed through our Government for which we don't take the time to read ourselves. Reading is fundamental! And the more you do it, the more you can make decisions for yourself versus having to rely on persons with perhaps self-interested motives to make decisions for you. Our first goes out to Congressman Chaffetz of the great State of Utah."



Greetings Congressman Chaffetz:

I was watching a video on CNN which you quoted from the HR3200 bill regarding the "euthanasia" claims as well as the requirement to submit income tax documentation for affordability credits. My assumption is that you have read the entire document because you are quoting from it, but I am a bit baffled why you didn't provide the necessary context around the need for income tax documentation. The excerpt you quote and highlight in your video (". . . the individuals income shall be the income for the most recent taxable year . . . ") pertains to the distribution of affordability credits supplied by the government? Do you not feel this is valid information? Do you not think that it is a good process to verify that persons receiving said credits are actually in need of them? Or is the government to take people on their word and word alone? So if I make $100k a year and tell you that I make $10,000 (below the poverty line in the contiguous 48 states), would you not need to verify that? That is the true intent of the income verification you referred to but it seems that you left this out? Why is that the case?

You also spoke to the confusion surrounding the "euthanasia" claims in section 1233: Advance Care Planning Consultation. You again highlighted a portion of the bill which provided an "explanation by the practitioner of the continuum of end of life services and supports available". You stated that you could see why people would be confused. Yet you didn't take the time to explain that was only a sentence of Part E of Section 1233. Unless the alphabet has changed, four letters precede letter E, those four letters providing context to section E. Context provides understanding. Context provides support. Why have you elected to leave out the context? Do you not feel your constituents are not able to comprehend? You also stated that it's not optional? Where is it deemed in either HR3200 or Social Security Act 1861 that it is mandatory? Perhaps I missed it somewhere in the context. Is the provision in actuality limiting the amount to be paid out by the government in only allowing this to be done every five years? Do you suggest that this consultation between physician and patient be done more frequent at greater cost to the government?

I would implore that you take the time to provide context to your constituents. It's imperative that we be provided adequate and contextual information as we attempt to make sound decisions on where we stand with respect to the next generation of health care legislation in our country. Not doing so could be seen as shady politics.

I suppose that you signed up to do these videos on CNN to show that you are, as your site states, "driven by what is right, guided by the Constitution, committed to integrity and personal responsibility." Please hold steadfast to these humble and noble principles. It is what is necessary from our new and future leadership in America's political arena.

With Sincere Thanks,

Robert Weaver

What Damon Wanted to Say But Didn't Because He Has More Sense Than Me.

First, read this:

XXXIV. Parents Fearing Obama’s School Speech

Great post by the good brother Damon Smith. He has a great knack for saying what needs to be said in a way that can be accepted. I pride myself on my ability to be able to tell people that they're stupid without using the word 'stupid' as well. But not this time. So I begin . . .

Parents Fearing Obama's School Speech:

You're stupid.

Normally i would try to say this to you in a manner in which I'm smiling while saying it, using big words that your dumbass wouldn't comprehend anyhow . . . wait. . . . that your dumbass wouldn't comprehend anyhow and with a tone that isn't by any means threatening or scary.

Not this time.

What did you think he was going to do, give your kids a thesis on Karl Marx and Fidel Castro's approach to effective government while sending them home with pamphlets highlighting socialism like he was a Jehovah's Witness or something? Have a hypnotic spiral playing in the background while constantly reciting in a monotone voice, "I am your leader! Pay for my health care! Buy a GM or Chrysler! Caring for one another is good !" Did you not think the teachers and principals you trust your kids with each and every day, THE MEDIA, anyone. . . would be standing guard? You give Obama waayyyy too much credit. Yes he's perhaps one of the most charismatic Presidents we've ever had, but dude isn't Bishop Don Magic Juan. He won't have your kid on the block selling ass!

I need an explanation from one of you. Just one of you. Hopefully someone with half a brain. . . . dang, Hopefully one of you with half a brain, as to why you thought this was a bad idea. But please don't insult me with the "ideology" defense for your actions. President's of recent past have shown the ability to provide a message to students which are without political agenda or partisanship. Why wouldn't Obama be able to do the same. Bush II could. And he's about as smart as those two fools on Real Chance of Love.

And I hate Bush II. I really hate him. With a passion (. . . have I expressed how much I hate him?). But if while he was President, or even today as steward of his ranch, I would jump at the chance of my child hearing the President speak, let alone speak in person (and so would some of you idiots as evidence is provided by this asinine notion here). Why? Because I respect our nation and just as important our President and leader.

Our country was no less divided when Reagan, Bush I or Bush II spoke to our students so the notion that our leadership would be motivated (or even willing) to encourage their partisan beliefs upon schoolchildren is idiotic. So what's the reason? Do you feel that strongly about the health care plan? Bailout? Van Jones? I know what it is. And I'm not afraid to say it.

You have not dealt with your issues on racism and the fact that the leader of the free world, the most powerful country that exists, is a black man. You will attempt to deny it. But you can't. You don't have a justified reason for your assumptions and actions. The White House put the speech out before so that you can review it, read it, make your mind up about it, etc. They did so despite the fact that you probably don't know what your kid's teachers' lesson plan is today. The teacher could be reading excerpts from Orwell's 1984 (you probably don't even know what book that is) or the Bible today and you wouldn't have a clue. It's because you wouldn't care. The nation has a 30% drop out rate. That is evidence that you parents aren't well engaged in what is going on in the classroom of our schools. That's because you're spending hours at town hall meetings talking about Obama's euthanasia health care reform package that will permit the government to kill your unborn child because they can't produce a birth certificate to verify that they're a US citizen! Dumbass.

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE CANADIAN!

[ breathe. . . ]

So to all you parents who thought that this was a bad idea. I have a secret to tell you. During the speech, a high frequency message was being played that can only be heard by children of conservative Americans that voted against Obama encouraging them to create living wills that give all their inheritance to needy underprivileged children before moving to Waco, Texas and joining a cult and staging the largest mass suicide ever. Don't believe them when they say they're staying at their friend's house this weekend. It's a lie.

Idiot!

Sincerely,

Your President.

When Will Some People Ever Learn?

First Read this: Commentary: Slavery Needs More than an Apology



You probably had the exact same reaction I did. Bravo! Finally someone had the cajones to speak the truth in a public (and I mean widely public . . . everyone reads CNN and if you don't . . . well) forum. And it didn't have to come from Jesse (Sr. or Jr.), Al or Roland Martin (who is a rather sharp dresser . . but that's another blog).

That feeling dissipated faster than Mike Vick's chancing of winning a citizen of the year award from PETA after the dog fighting news was released after I read the multitude of comments that were left.

Here's a sample:

"Slavery has not affected anyone alive today, who are we apologizing to" - Joe

"If you struggle with white guilt, good for you. It sounds like whatever comforts and privilege you were born into derive to some extent from your family's slave wealth. The small comfort and minor privilege into which I and many other 2nd and 3rd generation white Americans have was not earned off the backs of slaves." - Josh in MD

"We all have equal rights now, times have changed. There is no reason to constantly push the button on this matter." - Thomas J.

"I'm sorry but get over it." - Dave

To be fair, you really can't be mad at Dave. At least he did say he's sorry. But the rest of those who shunned the article you have absolute right to be pissed at. They don't even have the out of just being ignorant (see: They're not Racist, They're Just White). These scoundrels actually have the audacity to insist that despite the turmoil of racism as it was commonplace in our society in the past, there exists few or little remnants of its effects in present day society.

Do they not understand that the Civil Rights Movement is younger than their Grandpa? And for these persons to rationalize that due to everyone "having equal rights", slavery has no effect on our lives today is simply asinine. I'm 31. I have some bad habits that I have acquired over the course of those 31 years that haunt me to this day. Are you saying that our society's accepting temperament toward slavery which lasted hundreds of years can't by any means be relative in today's world?

Some people will never learn.

You got a problem with Vick?

The Michael Vick signing has brought me out my blogging hiatus. I've been absent from writing for some time as a result of life being hectic, but the reaction to his recent signing has irked me so that I feel i obligated to impress my opinion upon the interent world.

Let's clear the air. Michael Vick's actions and participation in the dog fighting culture was deplorable, irresponsible and senseless. It was an abuse of the status and recognition that he has acquired as a result of the God given talents that have been lent to him. His participation was exemplary of the lack of good judgement that is wide spread amongst athletes and their more than apparent sense of dominance and self proclamation of being untouchable. Further, he hurt many an animal and dissapointed those who wake up each morning staring at posters of him on their bedroom walls as they tie their cleats to run sprints so they too can "be like Mike". He let down those who work hard each day to enjoy the solace that comes as a result of spending that hard earned money on season tickets. His actions undoubtedly has saddened his peers and teammates who looked at him as an example of athletic prowess and superiority. To keep it plain and simple, what he did was wrong.

And he has paid for it. Two years of prison, no matter what the situation, is something that most of us could not for a second fathom. Having your every step outlined for you in advance, not being able to enjoy the luxuries of your life no matter how extravagant, being separated from society, friends, family and loved ones is a fate we all are afraid of. But he paid for it. His debt to society, in a multitude of ways, is paid in full.

What irks me is the reaction by some (far too many) to this young, humble, mistake making man to proceed with his life. The passion exerted by that of the opposition to the Philadelphia Eagles decision to sign Vick is immense in its ferocity and proportion. I have read facebook status messages calling for him to be fed to rabid dogs. Whether it be grandstanding or sincere, the soap box from which the disgruntled shout expletives and make demands from is tall and grandiose. They call for his expulsion from the league. They call him a murderer. They shun those that offer him a second chance in life.

And what is most unfortunate is that the root of their dissent is based not only on his crime, but his success (amongst other things. . . to be discussed later). Athletes have down worse (google Stallworth and Manslaughter) crimes, got less time and been less of a media attraction. Vick however is a game hunt for which any condemner would be proud to hang above their mantle. Their kids idolize Vick, beg for his shoes (for which he has made a considerable amount of money from), hang his photo on their walls, in their lockers and in their wallets as inspiration for greatness (despite the fact that they put food on the table each night and would love to have a fraction of said recognition) and desire to "be like Mike." He has seemingly unlimited wealth (disregard the bankruptcy filing as it is just a part of rich life . . .ask Donald Trump), access and power. All things the normal 9 to 5'er covets. And let's not forget he is a athletic dream. He runs fast, has an arm like a cannon, stunning agility and moves and can do the things you only can imagine or watch on TV. In all his greatness, his condemners despise him to the utmost. He is successful. He is young. He is talented and yes, (here comes the amongst other things) he is BLACK!

Yep, I said it. He is black. To act as if the the stain that has defined our country since its existence doesn't hold true in this situation would be asinine. And I won't permit you to scare me away with the "you're just playing the race card" retort. I provide you an example. Back in late 2008, video taped evidence bubbled up of Brian Giles abusing his mate. You may not even know who Brian Giles is. He wasn't asked to do time. He wasn't stripped of his endorsements. He didn't lose one red cent of his contract. It wasn't even a story long enough for the name Giles to be embedded in your head! Is domestic violence less of a crime than dog fighting? Ben Roethlisberger (Superbowl QB) stands accused of sexual assault. Is sexual assault worse than dog fighting? Should we skip Ben when the rings are passed out this year? When's the last you've heard of this story? Yet Pacman Jones gets about as much coverage as the Obama Healthcare plan. To disregard this blatant and obvious prejudice with respecting to condemnation is unacceptable.

What would be an acceptable trade for Mike Vick if football isn't it? If he worked in a 7-Eleven, would you be okay with that? Does that make the 7-Eleven workers who work hard to care for their families less significant than professional athletes? Is their means of making a living so discourageable that it should be looked at as punishment? What if you were to drink and drive, jaywalk or break some crime? Would it be okay for you to change professions from account manager at XYZ to selling cell phone cases at a kiosk in your local mall (. . .you'd be surprised how much money they make though)?

Find out why you actually have a problem with Vick. Address those issues (within you) and then perhaps we all can proceed on with our lives.

Do this! It's For a Great Cause! LaRabida Summerfest!

For my in Chicago folks, please come out and support this event. For my out of town folks, please make a donation! This is a great organization supporting our community.

La Rabida Summer Fest 2009:

Supporting the Child Advocacy Center of La Rabida Children's Hospital, the 1st Annual La Rabida Summer Fest '09 is an effort to provide financial support to one of La Rabida's most necessary departments. The Child Advocacy Center is a safe, child-friendly environment for children who have experienced psychological trauma and for alleged victims of sexual abuse and other violent crimes. The CAC provides investigative, therapeutic and support services free of charge to children and their families throughout South Suburban Cook County. Featuring local artists (including the CAC's own Berkeley Baker) supporting a local community effort the La Rabida Summerfest will celebrate the CAC's success while spreading the word of it's efforts.

Tickets & Donations:

Tickets for the event can be purchased buy clicking the link below. All proceeds of ticket purchases benefit the Child Advocacy Center. Please be sure to print a copy of your receipt as your ticket (a guest list of those who have purchased tickets will be on-site). In addition, monetary donations are welcome and appreciated and can be provided online by clicking the "donate" link below. All donations will benefit the Child Advocacy Center.

We greatly appreciate your support and consideration of this effort. Thank you and we look forward to celebrating with you at summerfest.

Donations: http://www.giveforward.org/larabidasummerfest

Purchase Event Tickets: http://larabidasummerfest.eventbrite.com/

Reality Discourages Me from Watching Reality T.V.

Jack & Jill plus 8, The OOC (Out of Control), The Game (wait, that's not a reality show but black folks treat it like it is), Diddy's Didiots (a.k.a. Making the Band), and other shows are far too rampant and just as much ignorant in my opinion. They are mocked up and staged realities that feed into people's desire to run away from the truths in their lives in hopes of living their Sunset Blvd dreams out through the idiot box. They aren't depictions of how things really turnout, the dramatic music and cutaways intensify perhaps more mundane and less interesting reality and they have the substance of a L.A. model, Zane Book Jerry Springer show.

The only reality shows that actually intrigue me are those like True Life and Intervention. Now these shows are awesome. They usually show real people with real problems (too fat, too ugly, too un-cool, too addicted to methamphetamine, alcohol or sex), dealing with real issues and struggling to overcome them. THAT'S REALITY! People driving in a Ford Festiva with rust spots and oil leaks spending their entire check at the local watering hole so often that their home number is on speed dial at the bar due to how often they have to call a relative to pull you out the bathroom stall. THAT'S F'IN REALITY!

No trained singers with week's to perform like American Idol. No athletes and theatre performers dancing with the stars. No Bachelors who get to choose from 30 stunningly attractive women to marry. Send that dude to a dark nightclub, liquor him up, let him make some poor decisions and end up marrying the chick he disregarded ten years ago like the rest of the world does.

Reality TV is a farce as it is only an opportunity to replace our realities with those of another persons which has been edited, clipped and scripted to give the impression of being interesting.

I must go now. I have to watch DVR episodes of Heroes. Say what you want, but at least I'm fully aware that a flying white guy, Asian nerd that jumps through time and wields a samurai sword or a kid that can rip off an ATM by "talking" to it isn't real. You tell me who's being fooled.

Emotional Affairs! (aka, "I have a confession: I like Oprah!")

Let me speak on the aka title first. It's true: I like Oprah. This revelation is the result of an attempt to earn bonus points with the wife by taking her to an Oprah show (i'll be writing a blog to elaborate on that experience later), but I at that time realized that my put downs on Harponites for their overzealous infatuation with the religious cult better known as the Oprah Show was rooted in my hidden and deep rooted appreciation of the woman. But I digress.

I recently read on her/cnn's website (I told you that I like Oprah in the second sentence above. . . get off my back), an article about people having Emotional Affairs. And it got me to thinking?

Would you be hurt more my an emotional affair your mate participated in versus a physical affair? For which would you be willing to be more forgiving?

And are male female friendships while in a serious and significant relationship truely possible?

A Tale of Two C's . . .

*check out TMCY's Letter to Facebook Freddie. it was the catalyst to this post.

Often women have complaints about men's dating discourtesies (is that a word?) and "courting" abuse, but as I often tell ladies, this ish is all your fault. We could go into a indepth conversation as to what you should or shouldn't permit as a single woman, but yall probably know all about that yet haven't taken the time or energy or aren't willing to accept the risk of being lonely on a considerable amount of nights as you realize that men are foul and you're simply tired of the batteries running low on the rabbit to put any sort of requirements into place.

So instead, let's discuss how you can tell if you're being courted vs. being chased.

First, we dinstinctively define the difference between the two c's. Being courted is rooted in a man's interest in you. . . Being chased is rooted in a man's interest in what you had on and how good you looked in it the night he met you. Courting is a necessary must do based on our sincere desire to know more about you. Chasing is a part of a deep rooted, cave man DNA makeup thirst for the opposite sex. Courting is something we as men generally shy away from due to the level of physical, emotional, financial and mental investment it requires. Chasing we can do in our sleep!

[Let's pause a sec before this next one. . . it may hurt].

Courting is something that we do to women which we respect or are required to respect. Chasing is something that we do with women that we could really give a care less if they make it pass the next week or so. (- - - side note, almost all courtships start off from the male perspective as a chase. It is the women's reaction to the chase which could cause a courtship to begin - - - )

So, getting back on task, let's go about putting together a list of identifiers to help you ladies know if you're being courted or chased. I'll start us off with a few. . .

1. As described by TMCY's letter to Freddie, Facebook/SMS Messaging are tools of the chaser: think efficiency!

2. An invite to the club vs. an invite to the movies/theatre/play/etc.: Alcohol + Harmones = Bad Choices. When a man's chasing, a female's bad choices can be just as astonishing and exciting to men as the Trailblazer's decision to pass on MJ was to the Bulls in the 1984 draft (ladies, if you don't know what I'm talking about . . . find out . . . this can be a very useful tool in moving yourself from the being chased to being courted category) ?

3. Morton's vs. McDonald's: self explanatory.

4. Lunch Dates vs. Dinner Dates: for a guy to carve out Saturday Lunch time which could very well be spent watching some sporting activity, participating in some sporting activity or sitting around with friends or at the barber shop talking about some sporting activity is a great clue. And based on the results of the dinner date . . . you've heard this before "the only thing open that late at night are . . . .").

Feel free to contribute . . . .

I'm starting to think having a choice (for most of us) is a bad thing. . .

The problem with choice is that far too many people make bad ones. And I'm not talking about the occasional bad choice that is the result of, for example, the initial bad choice of "having one too many" which in turn leads to a host of other subsequent bad choices (- - - she started off as a six when you where sober, she's still a six now that you're tore off. - - - or the trip to White Castle at 3:45am). Neither am our talking about limited choice, for example having a limited budget for a car purchase and your choice, as a grown ass man was to purchase a Toyota Solara ( - - - dude, that's a chick car and there where plenty of other quality choices in the $20,000 range). Nor am I talking about the choice that you make when you really have no choice at all, for example, doing what you'd rather do versus doing what your wife wants to do (- - - you make yourself believe that you're making the decision when the truth is you know you didn't have a choice in the first place).

I'm talking about real choice. The type of choice that despite it's tremendous and significant impact, there's no one standing there pointing a gun or a slingshot full of guilt at your head encouraging you to make the right choice. We as the people conglomerate repeatedly make bad choices in significant situations where the result of those choices will have a bearing on the level of happiness we achieve in the forthcoming years. Significant situations being the operative phrase here. I'm not talking the decision one makes to choose skinny jeans when skinny isn't something they've been familiar with since considering passing on the skinny option at Potbelly's (- - - or being a man and thinking that skinny jeans are even a possibility. It's actually selfish, like wearing tighty whiteys or bikini underwear. What about your future kids you selfish bastard?).

Choices like the choice to become an unwed mother (- - - 40% of all births in 2007 where to unwed mothers. 2007 was also the year we broke the record for number of babies born in a year of our nation's history). And before the zealots get started, I'm not talking about the choice to have or not have the child, I'm specifically adressing the choice to not protect yourself from the chance of becoming an unwed mother either through birth control or abstinence. That's a real choice.

Choices like the choice to commit or take part in a violent crime (- - - violent crime from 1995 to 2005 has increased 6%. other crimes - - - property, drug, public order types - - have decreased. guess criminals have decided to step their game up). And these too are perhaps the subsequent result of the prior choice to not pursue a life which would deter one from performing a violent crime for fear of losing or jeopardizing all they have attained and accomplished.

Or perhaps even more pressing choices. Like the choice to press down on the ballot chad next to George Bush's name (- - - this is self explanatory and doesn't require additional literal imagery or statistical support)

Of course I'm being a bit fecicious but the point is valid. If choice is all we have (- - - and through God's grace is what seperates us from other multi-cellular organisms on his/her beautiful planet), why do we not appreciate and utilize this tool of overarching impact with more carefulness and tact?

If there was a choice that you could get a "do-over" on and make with more wisdom and consideration of how it would impact the level of happiness you attain in your present and future, what would that choice be?

The Way Women Keep Score . . .

My barber and good friend Orlando Burns put me on to the fact that women keep score in relationships absolutely different than men. It's a idea that is talked about extensively in that Women are from Mercury and Men Make Sense (. . .okay maybe that isn't the title of the book, but you know what I mean). I really didn't believe him until I did some deep dive thinking about the way my wife keeps score in our relationship versus the way score is being kept in my head.

For example, if I bring home flowers once a week for 7 consecutive weeks, and count each occurence as 1 point tallied, in my my mind i've ACCUMULATED 7 points of good favor in the household. Right? I mean . . .

1 Bouquets of Flowers x 1 Point Each x 7 Weeks = 7 Points

Well, in the words of Adam Sandler . . . . THE PRICE IS WRONG BITCH (. . . see Happy Gilmore)! You have failed to realize that women reset the score each time a point is scored.

So, according to the woman's score ledger:

(1 Bouquet of Flowers x 1 Point Each x 7 Weeks )

minus

( Previous 6 Weeks Points Don't Mean Jack in Week 7)

=

1 Damn Point!

It is often said that math is the only thing that is empirical, however, women have proven this to be a farce.

In addition to this, women - unlike men - don't associate monetary value with the item or deed that takes place. For example:

Weekend In Miami on the beach, shopping and eating at nice restaurants = $2750

vs.

Pair of unique earrings from boutique shop in designer district = $35

In man thought, the weekend in Miami should be worth at least 78 unique earring purchases ($2750 / $35 = 78). But it doesn't work like that. Each of these occurences have the same value (. . . actually, you may get more points from getting the unique earrings).

This is an amazingly confusing, yet necessary lesson to embrace if you are a male in a relationship.

Agreed?

Love and Marriage Aren't Synonyms! (aka: Ten Things You Can Learn & Re-Learn Just From One Conversation w/ A Good Friend).

* Below is an excerpt from a conversation between me and Christine. Christine started off as my Corporate Big Sister / Mentor and ended up being a really good friend that has seen me go through some serious development. She checks in on me about once month or so and makes sure I'm being nice to my wife! LOL. It's actually much appreciated because every time we have these conversations, I end up appreciating my relationship (with my wife and with Christine ) and my marriage even more. I bolded some of the important points. Enjoy!


Christine(14:29:35): . . .and people say its hard, but I don'tunderstand what is hard about it

Rob(14:31:09): perhaps hard isn't the right word because it asserts that you don't want to do it. . . .how about . ."marriage is easy if you both know/understand that it's going to be WORK."

Rob(14:31:29): work is a better word. it doesn't have the negative connotation associated with something being hard.

Christine(14:31:46): what do you work at?

Rob(14:32:31): communicating, understanding, being considerate even whenyou don't want to be considerate,

Rob(14:33:48): doing these things all the time is work. when you're dating, you take breaks from doing these things, when you're married, you have no choice

Rob(14:33:55): or you'll be very unhappy.

Christine(14:34:03): I can understand that

Rob(14:34:07): but if you've got someone great, it's something you enjoy working at.

Christine(14:34:06): so when you have a choice Christine between being patient or not, being nice or not, it is making the choice to be patient and nice and when someone does something- assuming the best intentions versus the worst

Rob(14:35:25): yep.

Rob(14:38:38): that's something i have to remind Marie (and myself) of sometimes. Always think my intentions where best unless you have evidence which says different. unlike past relationships where I try to make sure I don't get caught, now i make sure my actions are such that I don't have to hope not getting caught or have to spend time explaining them.

Christine(14:39:11): exactly, but also, cut someone some slack - know that I will not do anything bad- so focus onthe outcome and not on any little mess along the way

Rob(14:40:49): and I give much less resistance when what i do offends her regardless of what my intentions where. . . that's the work on understanding part . . .my actions may make sense to me, but that doesn't mean that it makes sense to others or despite being acceptable,won't offend or hurt someones feelings. i try my best to acknowledge her feelings absent of if Ithink i'm right or wrong

Christine(14:41:18): that is very true and hard for people (including myself) to understand

Christine(14:41:24): you said it perfectly

Christine(14:41:32): you may be the perfect husband!

Rob(14:43:54): i am . . haha . . just kidding. . . i don't think there's a such thing. . . i think the "perfect husband / wife" is the person who trys to be perfect enough for their mate so that their mate is willing to give them slack during the times when they are being imperfect. which is probably a lot more often than when they are perfect. my goal is to be perfect for Marie. and for others, that may not be perfect at all, but their assesment of my perfection doesn't matter. . . .and neither one of us knows what it means to not succeed at something. . . so we both have the motivation to make our marriage the best marriage possible for the longest time possible . . . 1 year or100.

Christine(14:45:40): don't even say that 1 year business

Christine(14:46:00): I wonder if success in marriage is not about tying it to love as much?

Rob(14:47:41): you know you can love someone to death and can't make a relationship work with them

Christine(14:49:47): I know that very well. love doesn't necessarily mean marriage or you can think of it as I love you enough to think you are owed stability and commitment and safety meaning, safety like, I have your back

Rob(14:52:55): i love you enough to take the chance of a lifetime on you based on who you are today and who you wish to be tomorrow (and who I think you will be tomorrow). you don't take that gamble on someone who doesn't have that figured out for themself before you start walking down that road.

Rob(14:53:10): love and marriage definitely aren't synonyms.

Rob(14:59:21): and it should be a bit more selfish a deal. i chose the woman that I felt would best contribute to my life's happiness in every facet. emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. So, it's really all about me! LOL!

- - - - - - To Recap - - - - - -

Ten Lessons You Can Learn (and Re-Learn) Just From One Conversation with a Good Friend:

1. "perhaps hard isn't the right word because it asserts that you don't want to do it. . . .how about . ."marriage is easy if you bothknow understand that it's going to be WORK."

2. when you're dating, you take breaks from doing these things,

3. but if you've got someone great, it's something you enjoyworking at.

4. cut someone some slack

5. I give much less resistance when what i do offends her regardless of what my intentions where.

6. my actions may make sense to me, but that doesn't mean that it makes sense to others or despite being acceptable,won't offend or hurt someones feelings. i try my best to acknowledge her feelings absent of if Ithink i'm right or wrong

7. think the "perfect husband / wife" is the person who trys to be perfect enough for their mate so that their mate is willing to give them slack during the times when they are being imperfect. which is probably a lot more often than when they are perfect.

8. you know you can love someone to death and can't make a relationship work with them

9. love you enough to take the chance of a lifetime on you

10. love and marriage definitely aren't synonyms.