Monday, October 12, 2009

On The (Sorta) Lighter Side: Meet Trichelle - The New Black Barbie!

I'm going to get it for this one.


I wonder how much fun Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Saturday Night Live (. . .actually, I'd probably love the Saturday Night Live joint) is going to have with Trichelle. I can see it now.


Glenn Beck reporting on the new black Barbie:

"He put the Mattel folks up to it like he was pressing for Chicago to get the Olympics. Why? Because Obama hates white male America! And what better way to get at white male America than to make a supple skinned, full lipped, flared nose sexy and attractive Barbie doll that'll have young white girls wanting to grow firm rumps, have wide hips and weave. No Beyonce booty for our little white daughters Obama! We'll keep the flatback. We're not fooled by your attempts to indoctrinize our young white boys with the desire of this biatch black Barbie. First you make Serena, with her thick legs and rear, number one in professional woman's tennis. Now this. To all the little white men our there. Don't fall for it. Don't fall for the sensual taste of the black woman like Bill Maher fell for superhead. Fight the urge. Don't break up the white familial structure. Please don't let Obama win you over with Trichelle."

Rush Limbaugh reporting on the new black Barbie:


"The Black Barbie has landed. The world must reject Trichelle. She is not American. American women don't have flair and style like that. And Trichelle. If that isn't an attempt to appease Barack Hussein Obama I don't know what is! They practically named the doll after his wife. I'm afraid for our nation. If we make an aspiring black Barbie that is coveted like all other Barbies, you know what could happen. [whispers] They may think they could aspire too. They just may think that being black is beautiful. And for the love of our nation. We don't need that!"

Why Not Marie (. . . and I know I'm biased)?

I'm for the black Barbie. My cynical attitude understands that this black Barbie is merely an attempt at tapping into the black economy. But hey! It is what it is. I just don't know if people put enough thought in it. Does the black barbie, with fuller lips and wider nose have to have hip hop clothing? Can't she wear cardigans and flats clothes like the white Barbie? And why must she always have a little sister in tow? Where's mom? They say it's because she's "mentoring" but really. . . . really?

And why Trichelle? I deplore the idea that this is so common in the black community. If I take a sample of my closest friends girlfriends, fiancee's or wives, I don't come up with that. My wife's name is Marie, my good friends Kobie, Jeff, Sacramento and Chip ladies' are named Kenya, Niela, Tiffany and Stephanie. That's a 2 of 5. Wait. . .that's 40%. hmm. Maybe I need a larger sample set. But anyhow, you get my point. I don't want our young daughters thinking names like Lemonjello, Lercretia, Alize and Qiona ( . . .however I did just see an Asian girl of Wheel of Fortune with that name) are the norm. Can we get more Ashley's, Jill's, Marie's, Cathy's, Heather's in the black name database.

My other concern is what's going to be the outcome of the revamped black "Ken" doll? Is it going to be some 6' 2", ripped, basketball playing, fast running, barely got his GED, slanging, 24" rims riding, 9mm Gloc packing, five baby momma having Wesley Snipes black . . black dude . . . . with cornrows (the name of the doll would be Micheal Vick). Where does it stop?

This blog rant sponsored by Mattel. Black Barbie doll sold seperately. Baggage, issues due to lack of father in the household, processed hair, issues with constant plight for independency, two baby's by two different baby daddy's and section 8 housing not included.

9 comments:

BwnSknLdy said...

Not lemonjello!!!!!!

Nicki Sunshine said...

WOW, they are making such a big deal over a barbie.


She's black, so what? What's the big deal? I'm so sick of people making an issue out of the smallest things, or making assumptions about why they did it.

Robert Weaver said...

@Nicki: LOL. those "reports" are made up. I listen to a lot of AM radio, so I feel I can tell you what they're going to say before they even say it. The funny thing is, I wonder if it's a good thing to point out to our children how much "fuller" their lips are or how much "wider" their nose is because doesn't it just give them some reason to look at each other as being different.

Nicki Sunshine said...

Aw shoot Robert, I thought they were real. lol.

I don't think kids need to know anything... the world will point it out to them soon enough.. and is she really the first black Barbie???? I had Barbies of all colors, growing up- white ones, dark brown ones, sandy brown ones (I think she was supposed to be Latino). lol

Robert Weaver said...

Naw, not the first Black Barbie. Just the first with ghetto hips and lips. The Latino Barbie. Now I can go stereotypical on that. Tortillas, excessive makeup, lip gloss and inappropriate clothing for a seven year old girl sold seperately.

I'd better stop before google shut's my blog down.

Nicki Sunshine said...

LMAO!!!! As funny as that was, you know that's right.


I didn't even notice this barbie's lips and hips? Attention to detail much? lol

The Lioness said...

I remember when I was about 6 years old on Christmas morning, I woke up to my parents yelling. More specifically, my momma yelling at my daddy for buying me a white Barbie doll. After she threw it at him, she demanded that he take it back and buy me a black one. I never received a white Barbie doll again.

I think Trichelle is a good idea. It helps subconsciously teach little girls that there's more than one standard of beauty.

But I am so giving a side eye to all that long silky yaky #1B they have on her head. Give that doll some kinky curl, indi afro, or something!

Robert Weaver said...

that undoubtedly would be a memorable christmas.

and i agree, there should be a Pam Grier or Sister Souljah version of the body. Automatic weapons and bangle earrings sold seperately.

Robert Weaver said...

body = barbie . . . hahah . . .but a updated sistah like body on the barbie wouldn't be a bad idea either. lol

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