The Way Women Keep Score . . .

My barber and good friend Orlando Burns put me on to the fact that women keep score in relationships absolutely different than men. It's a idea that is talked about extensively in that Women are from Mercury and Men Make Sense (. . .okay maybe that isn't the title of the book, but you know what I mean). I really didn't believe him until I did some deep dive thinking about the way my wife keeps score in our relationship versus the way score is being kept in my head.

For example, if I bring home flowers once a week for 7 consecutive weeks, and count each occurence as 1 point tallied, in my my mind i've ACCUMULATED 7 points of good favor in the household. Right? I mean . . .

1 Bouquets of Flowers x 1 Point Each x 7 Weeks = 7 Points

Well, in the words of Adam Sandler . . . . THE PRICE IS WRONG BITCH (. . . see Happy Gilmore)! You have failed to realize that women reset the score each time a point is scored.

So, according to the woman's score ledger:

(1 Bouquet of Flowers x 1 Point Each x 7 Weeks )

minus

( Previous 6 Weeks Points Don't Mean Jack in Week 7)

=

1 Damn Point!

It is often said that math is the only thing that is empirical, however, women have proven this to be a farce.

In addition to this, women - unlike men - don't associate monetary value with the item or deed that takes place. For example:

Weekend In Miami on the beach, shopping and eating at nice restaurants = $2750

vs.

Pair of unique earrings from boutique shop in designer district = $35

In man thought, the weekend in Miami should be worth at least 78 unique earring purchases ($2750 / $35 = 78). But it doesn't work like that. Each of these occurences have the same value (. . . actually, you may get more points from getting the unique earrings).

This is an amazingly confusing, yet necessary lesson to embrace if you are a male in a relationship.

Agreed?