While out watching the NCAA Championship last night, some friends of a Cousin joined us. Older gentlemen, early forties, one of which who had been married twice, the other who'd been married . . . never . . . and probably never will (but we'll get into that later). After a few drinks and hearing about his single triumphs, he came to the stunning awareness that the very pretty lady sitting next to me was married . . . to me. The conversation continued as he spoke about his friends who'd been married . . . some more than once (the guy who was with him . . . waiting on his new lady friend to arrive . . . he'd been the best man in his wedding . . . twice). His friend asked me to give them advice on marriage, despite being 10 years their junior. I'm a smart ass so I obliged by asking the never, eva, eva, eva married guy, "how often do you hang out with your married friends?" He told me that he and the guy who'd accompanied him for the night were the best of friends and always hung out. His other married friends, he saw them "once every blue moon". I subsequently told him that my first piece of advise would be to only hang out with guys like him on the golf course (I don't know if he necessarily got it or took well to my sarcastic advice . . . his friend did and added that that may not even be a safe place to be with him if you're married). This probably isn't the best way to make new friends in a new city . . .but some friends you don't need.
I failed to mention that when acquiring the knowledge of my and my wife's marriage, his face turned up as if he'd just bit into a sour pickle.
These type of people really turn my gears. You know the type that uses their failed experiences to discourage your endeavor while at the same time refusing to acknowledge how much they contributed to the failure of that experience in the first place. Dude, you're not married because of you. Your friend probably isn't married because of you too. It has nothing to do with the institution of marriage, the many "good" women you have damaged over your 40+ years or any other reason other than the fact that marriage isn't something that you're willing to commit to because it may require that you put someone else's priorities and needs in front of yours . . . if even temporarily (this is evident in the fact that you're a part time dad that sees your children sparingly despite them being only a few hours drive away from you . . . but we'll leave that alone). But I'm okay with that. Commitment and marriage isn't for everyone. Shoot, most people don't know it's not for them until they've actually tried it (ie. the 50% divorce rate). My issue is that you don't have to be part of the Disgruntled Single Person's Crusade who's mission statement is to "Discourage Unified Partnership . . . One Marriage at a Time!".
Don't think marriage is cool, you look athletic, let's talk sports. Can't commit to anything that requires focus for more than 12 minutes, cool , let's get on YouTube and watch some movie shorts. But please, no matter how afraid you are of marriage and unable to deal with the fact that your father wasn't present and you were raised by women yet didn't transfer that respect that you have for that subset of women to all women you encountered and will continue to have this plague you until you realize that your Father was who he was and you can be someone totally different than he . . . [end rant], don't attempt to discourage the rest of the world from embarking among the wondrous journey we call marriage.
On another note, good luck with explaining to your live in girlfriend why you smell like woman's perfume later. I hope that works out for you . . . Tiger!
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