A Long Letter to my not yet concieved child . . .

Dear Son and/or Daughter:


I Love you.

Even though I've never seen your beautiful face, held your soft hand, seen your cheerful smile or wiped your first tear, I love you. And I will always love you. And you should always know that.

I have dreamt of you all my life. I have dreamt of how beautiful you would be, how smart you would be, how funny you would be, how great you would be. I have dreamt of the many good and bad times we would share. I have dreamt of the first time we looked into each others eyes, the first time you call me daddy and your first steps. You have been on my mind for as long as I can remember, and now that you are here, you will continue to be in my thoughts each and every day. You are a dream come true.

You are the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am forever indebted to God and your Mother for making this dream of mine a reality. I love your Mother dearly. She is the strength that has kept me going and she will be just as strong for you. I cannot love you without loving your Mother, and I will love the both of you till the end of time. Losing either either of you isn't something I ever would be able to handle. Understand that your Mother and I will not always agree, but we will always agree on this: God was kind to us by bringing the blessing of you into our life. And no matter what happens between the two of us, know that you are the greatest thing that ever happened to both of us.I promise to cherish you as if you are the greatest gift I have ever received.

Despite my love for you, I am fully aware that we too, will not always see eye to eye. Please know that I never want to hurt your feelings and I am sorry for the many times I'm sure I will. Everything I do, I do for you. The rules I set are not to limit your joy, but to prepare you for a troublesome and tumultuous world. When I say "no" it's not because I wish to be mean or keep you from having fun. You will learn over time that if I could have said yes every time, if I could have given you every want or desire you ever dreamed of, that I would have without hesitancy.

But my job is to be your parent. And I will carry out that job in a fashion that I will be forever proud and able to hold my head high that I did the best I could at being a parent for you. As much as I want to be your best friend, you must understand that being your friend comes second to being your Dad.

I will not have all the answers even though I will sometimes act like I do. I want to be the man you look up to each and every day. I want you to be as proud to say "that's my dad" as i am to say "that's my child". I will help you in every way I can. And even when I can't help you, I will be there to comfort you when you try and fail and support you each time you try and try again. Keep trying! It is the only way to achieve success.

And even though I haven't met you, I know you will be a valiant success, a beacon of excellence and achievement. You will get there by trying, doing, winning and losing, but you will get there, and I will be there every step of the way to give you whatever help I can. And when you shine, when you rise to the top of the many podiums you will stand upon, don't worry if you never mention me for you being you is the greatest acknowledgement I could ever receive. Shine bright!

There will be people in your life who tell you you aren't as wonderful as I say you are. Know in your heart that God has never made anything that wasn't wonderful, and when he made you, he created wonderful defined. Be proud, yet humble. Know that with all that you have you have a responsibility to give back more. Know that with all your talents and successes, if you are the only one to have benefited from them, they were of of little use at all. So when the world tells you you can't, show them you can and remember to be grateful that you could.

You will have many special people in your life. Some will last for a long time, some will last for a little. Of any and all these people require that they respect you not by the way you demand that respect but by giving them the respect you feel you deserve. But be able to know the difference. Know that no matter how much we wish to have people in our life, they sometimes don't deserve that privilege. Respect for self is where respect for others start. And one day, I pray you will find someone who will make you feel just as special as your Mother has made me feel. And one day you will want to share the rest of your life with that person. Know that I may not always be number one in your life, but I will always be the first to be there when you need me. My love for you has grown each day since the first day I dreamt of you. And it will never subside. Ever.

And for all that I have written to you, promised to you, given to you, shared with you, I only ask for one thing. I only ask that when the day comes, that you will write a long letter to your not yet conceived child (my grandchild), that simply starts as such:

I love you.

Black People Should Be Happy . . . . Everythings Even With the Election of President Obama!

Listening to AM radio this morning, which I am almost certain contributes to 98% of the reason I walk into work with a mean mug you would normally associate with prison photos, the stand in host asked the question of "Do black people feel as if they have gotten even with whites with the election of a black President?" This rather assinine question I dismissed as radio entertainment and an attempt to solicit callers and increase radio ad revenue by the show host, until people actually called in to comment. The points people made were more assinine than the question itself, so much to the point that I have subconciously blacked them out of my head and thus can't regurgitate them, however they were catalyst enough to prompt me to call in myself.

My point was this, 1 for 43 should never be considered "even" in any situation. When it comes to matters of race, I do not believe 50/50 is necessary (which is the counterpoint the host attempted to use . . . asserting I wouldn't be happy until 41 more black men became president). Nevertheless, I do feel "even" should be a reflection of what portion of the American Pie you represent. For example, take any publicly founded college campus. If there are 20,000 students, and America is 13 - 15% minority, shouldn't 13-15% of the students on that campus be minority as well? This would assert a "equal" representation to the opportunities of college education.

A subsequent caller responded to my statement saying that "black people are all over the board on this one" (because another caller called in stating she didn't vote for Obama despite her being black because her family couldn't relate to his elitism as a result of his being Harvard educated. I could write another blog on this idiot notion in itself but who has the time) and that blacks have had opportunities to become President for "generations" now and haven't capitalized upon it until Barack Obama came along.

That response got me to thinking, perhaps the better question for the day that the host should ask is if white people feel that blacks should be satiated by the election of a black President as a guage for things being "equal" or "even" in our society. I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this one, but it'd be interesting to hear the responses.

Getting back to the "black people are all over the board" comment, is this something that is ridiculous an idea? Is it crazy to think that two black people, with two different upbringings, two different sets of life experiences and personalities would have differing ideas and thoughts? Does the shared pigmentation of our skin lead one to think that our thoughts too are one in the same? Homogenous thought is perhaps one of the most significant contributants to the persistence of bad ideas. Variety in our ideas is the premise for which our nation is built. It is the agent which is the catalyst for the ideas and ingenuity which has made us the model society on Earth. Therefore, the expectation that all black people be on the same page with respect to any idea is in itself an underestimation of black people.

I must too address the idea that black people have for "generations" had the opportunity to become president. My first action was to find the definition of generation. There are many, all of which point to a period of time. Here's one:

the term of years, roughly 30 among human beings, accepted as
the average period between the birth of parents and the birth of their
offspring.

Assuming this definition is widely accepted and agreed upon, permit me to walk you down a time line regarding the notion of the "generations" of opportunity black people have had with respect to becoming President of the greatest country on Earth. The first Pilgrims arrived (slaves in tow) in 1614. The Declaration of Independence was made real in 1776, with the promise of equality for all men as a endowment given to them by their creator. The United States constitution, which in itself proclaimed the inferiority of blacks in relation to whites with the three-fifths compromise, was accepted in 1786. The Civil War, renowned as the war to free the slaves, began in 1861. Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his March on Washington speech in 1963. So, assuming the caller was speaking to the generations of opportunity allowed to black people to become President, it took black people bit over one generation to accomplish this goal, a rather expeditiously and seemingly insurmountable feat to have been accomplished in a nation with a rich history of racial tension and oppression. The notion that many generations were afforded us is a farce.

Which returns me to my suggested question "if white people feel that blacks should be satiated by the election of a black President as a guage for things being "equal" or "even" in our society"? This callers commentary would suggest that we should. It also asserts that white people feel as if the election of one black President (and their more than apparent contribution in accomplishing that feat) absolves them of the injustices, discrimination and prejudices they have placed upon the welted backs of black people since the day the first Pilgrim set foot on Plymouth Rock.

Technology is a double edge sword. . .

The advancements in technology since my youth have been abundantly rapid and impacting. I remember playing Commadore 64 and ATARI were 1D games like PONG where the staple yet still exciting as can be. Now games have DNA, literally. Today's technology has evolved to the point that the characters you play with can have shifting personality. Mario was just happy all the time, like he had a lifetime refill of Prozac. The first cell phone I had was humongous, bulky and outright lame. The minutes were excessively expensive, so much so, that seldom did I have any to call anyone. I still had to rely on my pager and hope someone lived close enough to use their landline or that a payphone was near by (. . . and i only needed a quarter to use it!). Now phones have games, email, text messaging, video, movies, music, applications that let you track election results and stream live music, and give you access to the ever addicting Facebook application.

The advancements of technology have made life more efficient and allowed us to communicate in ways we could only imagine like we did when we watched the Jetsons (still waiting on that flying car express way . . . that would make the commute to Hoffman from Bronzeville a breeze).


However, all our technological advancements have also acted as a crutch for many of the things that grew our abilities and skill sets. Take text messaging as an example. My father used to make me write letters to my aunts and uncles. They needed to be grammatically correct and he required they used more complex words other than that which I used in my everyday verbiage. It permitted me to grow my vocabulary and become better at the use of the English language. Of course, I didn't know all this at the time, it was actually quite frustrating. But it was a less expensive way of talking to extended family as long distance calls at the time were still very costly. Now, I text my uncles and aunts, using shorthand LOL's and OMG's and BRB's. Technology has actually retracted some of my ability to use the English language in exchange for acronyms! And despite the fact that mobile to mobile minutes exist and I don't know of a cell phone that doesn't have free long distance, I still, for the sake of time, communicate in short hand text.

Technology has even ripped us of the Dewey decimal system. Depending on your age, you may not even know who or what that is. That's because who goes to library's anymore. Even when I was in college, I went to the library to get a quite place to study. I didn't need books because the entire campus was on wi-fi and all my research was done on the Internet. And even if I did need a book, i would just download it electronically. I haven't stepped foot inside a library since college. And although the Internet provides immediate access to information and for that matter, the world, it has reduced the amount of time we spend reading. Young people can Google for entire research papers and teachers have to be just as keen in order to catch the plagiarism which is probably rampant in today's schools.

Technology has even taken away our ability to count. Try this. . . the next time you are ordering food and run across a automated change machine, challenge the order taker to a test. Give them a $20 bill and tell them if they can tell you, within 8 seconds, the amount of change they should get back, you'll let them have the change. You probably won't lose a dime. And chances are, you have become so trusting in the machines and techonoloy that have been implemented to "make our lives easier" that you could get shorted change every time and never notice. We have become so reliant on these tools that we never question them.

Technology in all it's brilliance has handicapped our society. And there's no promising outlook for it getting any better.

This message brought to you from my IPhone.

To Choose or To be Chosen . . . .That is the question!

We all know the light skinned vs. dark skinned argument. Light skinned girls get all the guys. Dark skinned girls get played or have to be exceptionally fine! Wannabe's vs. Jiggaboos. . . . blah, blah, blah. We all know that it's rooted in massa's seperation of the lights from the darks and giving them preference and creating the sensation to covet the lighter folks of our race. And yet it still plagues us today. More importantly, it plagues our black women who are constantly irate at the fact that a man's preferences lead him to lighter toned women.

Sistahz (of all color. . . .white, brown, yellow, etc.) . . . . you will never change a man's preference!

That fool may marry you and still prefer lighter skinned women!

My question is, when will women become the chooser instead of being chosen. Now I know you're going to say that we women always do the choosing . . . and you may be correct in saying that the end decision is that of the woman, but if you think that the courter doesn't have anything to do with the courtee making that decision, you're fooling yourself (ex. refer to ugly brother without dough with fine woman on arm . . . . game!).

The sistah has always went out and got what they want in life. Want education . . . went out and got it! Higher paying job in the board room with the big boys . . . went out and got it! Big house, nice car . . . that too! Quality man . . . [in a damsel in distress voice] , "where has chilvary gone?"

My suggestion: Get out and get what you want!

I can be certain that I cannot recall not participating in a conversation that a woman initiated with me in my single days. Ugly, fine, tall, short, fat, skinny. Didn't matter, if the woman started the conversation, I always remember engaging her. My preferences went to the wayside frankly because I was caught off guard and if that woman's personality shined and kept me engaged, there was no telling where the conversation would lead.

Men have had to do this since the beginning of time. We have always had to chase. Geez, my wife didn't even give me her phone number when we first met . . . I nearly had to stalk her via email . . . which she didn't provide to me either but I just happened to pick out of a guestlist of more than 600 others ( . . . fate . . .that's a future blog article). The chase and the subsequent shootdowns is what has allowed us men to build ourselves and our ability to engage, attract and win the woman who are characteristic of our preferences.

For those of you who women who believe that the old fashion way of courtship should be standard, understand that you no longer live in old fashioned times and shall not expect new fashioned results while maintaining an old fashioned mindset regarding dating. We are in a new age where we learn more about one another through text messages, emails and facebook profiles than we do via picnics in the park, walks on the boardwalk or conversations over tea. This will not change. The world will not revert back to times of communication in person or via hand written letter. And to be truthful, you have not maintained old fashioned mannerisms of courtship anyhow. In old fashioned times, you dated exclusively those of your ethnic group. Of course there were folks at the extremes who tested these old fashioned ideas, however most of us stayed in stride. Yet, frequently I hear women (scorned) suggest to other women that men outside of their race are fair game now as a result of the dissapointment they have have with men who reflect their own skin tone. If this is outside the lines of old fashion and still exceptable, why not stress the bounds a bit more.

Stop waiting to be chosen . . . . stop being victim of preferences for which you have no control over. . . . start choosing how you want your dating life to be! It may be more fun (and successful) than you think!

Shout out to Tahani for kicking this post off!

What were they thinking? Hmmmm . . . .

So, all the living presidents gathered for lunch. First time since '81. Photo opportunities where abound and some keen photographer caught the one you see here. It seems as if Young Bush was in mid sentence. I wonder what the presidents where thinking? Let me know what you think?

"So . . . you just gonna fuck up the USA and leave me to fix it all huh? That's cool, I got it. Can't wait till your chump ass gets gone on the 21st!" - Obama

"Yep . . . Here I am again . . . In the Oval Office. Boy did some freaky shit go down in here!" - Clinton

"Hey Jimmy, you think they're gonna serve tater tots for lunch! I love me some tater tots!" - Bush #2

"Yep. I'm pretty certain. I've wet my depends." - Carter

"I should punch your ass in the ear!" - Obama