The Man's Guide to the Handshake!

As we embark on the first black leader of the free world, the most dominant country on the planet (today at least). . . I think it is necessary that we address a very important issue. Our blended leader will undoubtedly bring many cultures, races and ethnicity's together and when he does, we need to be able to greet each other. But for you guys, it's much more imperative! We're talking about . . . .

The Handshake!

Have you ever been in a situation in which you're being introduced to someone and you go in for a certain handshake and are surprised by an absolutely different one; one for which you weren't ready for at all? Awkward right?

So this Public Services Announcement is for the world to know when to use certain handshakes.

First, let's discuss the various types of handshakes. There's the standard corporate handshake, the one you use in interviews and meeting parents and people you're trying to impress. Then there's the dap (in it's many deviations). It's a handshake that has been infused into just about every community and culture, the right hand thumb grasp, chest to chest embrace with the left arm around the back, ended with the standard corporate grasp. Then there's what I call the Fresh Prince. That's the one you and your boy from life made up when you're like 8 and have been using forever. Only you and your small crew know it and it is something which is secret and special.

So here are the rules:

1. If meeting someone for the first time: You almost always use the corporate handshake (there are some instances where this may not be the case). First impressions are important and the last thing you want to make someone think is that you're trying to be the coolest kid on the block.

2. When reuniting with a good friend or associate: It's customary that you utilize the "dap". It permits you to show your affinity for this person while maintaining enough distance to ensure no sexual misunderstandings are had (this is accomplished by the arm bar that is created by the hand grasp). It shows how happy you are to see that person but, are calling out "No Homo" without actually saying "No homo".

3. When in a racially or ethnically imbalanced environment: It is almost always best to use an abbreviated version of the dominant race or ethnicity's handshake. This will require some honesty yall, so follow with me. If for instance you are a white male going to the gym to play ball (where you're likely to be outnumbered by the brothers 3 to 1 . . . unless you're at the JCCA), an abbreviated "dap" is used. This dap consists of the thumb grasp followed by the ending corporate shake. No chest bump or arm wrap around is necessary. It says that I'm cool enough to be here, but I'm not trying to be Markie Mark. However, if you're a black male going to a co-workers backyard barbeque, it's not a good idea to bring out the full blown dap as it may make others uncomfortable and create an awkward moment as described above. A mild corporate handshake will do. Not the supergrip you give when applying for a job or meeting your girls dad for the first time, but one that is appropriate for the setting at hand.

Please take heed to these rules as it is imperative to keeping social harmony and balance!

Comments requested!