Rant #3: Men Performing The Beyonce "Single Ladies" Video!

*I realize the timing of this rant may be tardy, but I felt it necessary anyhow.

WTF! YouTube is rampant with Beyonce Single Ladies video remakes. Of the many things that are wrong with this I would like to point out two that are magnanimous in there absurdity.

First, and perhaps most important, is the fact that you are attempting to remake a work of quintessential art. It's not only that you are amateur at best, performing the choreography in dorm rooms and parking lots of grocery stores. It would be like the cartoonist at the state fair attempting to recreate the Mona Lisa! Like T-Pain trying to recreate Roger Troutman's vibe. You are ruining a newfound past time for 98% of men in the world (sexual orientation disregarded because you're either drooling over beyonce as a straight man or drooling over beyonce's choreography as a gay man). Watching this video for men can be likened to watching your favorite sport on a Saturday afternoon by yourself on the couch with chips, an enormous hoagie and a six pack . . . . that and porn, of course. When I YouTube the single ladies video, more remakes are returned than instances of the actual video. This is discouraging.

Second. Why the hell are 80% of these videos of MEN doing the dance. And seriously doing the dance (some of them doing so far too well). Not performing a spoof like Justin Timberlake on SNL (which was incredibly hilarious I might add . . . and made me even more jealous of Justin as a result of the Beyonce ass slap). These guys are actually attempting to show their artistic talent and ability. . . . by emulating a Beyonce video.

And these random dorm rude dancer, viral videos as in that of Shane Mercado are getting so much attention that he not only got on a talk show but actually got the chance to meet Beyonce herself. That's right. ACTUALLY GOT TO MEET BEYONCE! Men around the world dream of such a moment . . . nightly . . . and daily. To be honest, if performing the dance and placing it on YouTube would guarantee me the opportunity to get that close to her, I would probably go shopping for a leotard TONIGHT! These remakes are far to well produced as in the case of Purple Haze or just outright embarrassing as in the case of this Fat Guy! There are so many that compilation videos have been created.

I have two requests.

1. Please stop. . . .

2. Please never, ever, eva eva eva (in my best Chris Tucker impression) disgrace a Beyonce video again by performing in this manner.

That is all.