Let me speak on the aka title first. It's true: I like Oprah. This revelation is the result of an attempt to earn bonus points with the wife by taking her to an Oprah show (i'll be writing a blog to elaborate on that experience later), but I at that time realized that my put downs on Harponites for their overzealous infatuation with the religious cult better known as the Oprah Show was rooted in my hidden and deep rooted appreciation of the woman. But I digress.
I recently read on her/cnn's website (I told you that I like Oprah in the second sentence above. . . get off my back), an article about people having Emotional Affairs. And it got me to thinking?
Would you be hurt more my an emotional affair your mate participated in versus a physical affair? For which would you be willing to be more forgiving?
And are male female friendships while in a serious and significant relationship truely possible?
リアルな出会いでは困難！？インドア派を出会い系サイトで誘う方法について
8 years ago
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3 comments:
No matter how much we "work out" to increase physical strength there is nothing in human nature stronger than or more powerful than the mind. Everyone has heard the "mind is a terrible thing to waste" or "mind over matter", two very powerful phrases because they deal with the internal. If a person/mate is emotionally tied to something, that will more than likely drive his/her actions even if it means to distance him/herself away from their mate to gain the "emotional support" they need. The physical, to me, is easier to break. I wouldn't be too much concerned (don't get it twisted I said too much concerned, lol) with the physical affair, but the emotional, I wouldn't get over it as easy. Not because of fear of losing my mate to someone else, but because I know that once someone's heart is somewhere else or with someone else, "you and I" will never be the same relationship wise. It would be harder to forgive the emotional because emotional ties are harder to break and easier to generate "relapses". However, in time it can be forgiven and only when you trust that he/she will make steps to get better and not have "repeat offenses". If you and your mate have communication and trust, there would be no need to feel threatened by another female/male. Each partner should accept the male/female friendships in each others lives. It's understood, "this is my friend, he/she recognizes and respects your position and place in my life". Real friends would not want to ruin your happiness. Even if they don't like it, respect is something that should be given to everyone, friend and mate. This is a good topic :*)
*sigh*
as a person who has dealt with emotional affairs, i honestly felt like if he just blatantly had sexual relations with her, i'd feel a lot better. both are wrong. but honestly, to know that you are concerned with someone else and what's going on in their lives, makes me feel small. or to know that you're constantly talking to her about our problems or how you feel about me, makes me feel like i am not good enough for you. if you had sex with the girl, i at least hope it was purely a physical thing and wasn't attached to emotions. like the article said, he was in denial about his "affair" saying that it wasn't that bad. my thing is if you can't tell your wife/husband about a friendship you have with someone, than you are cheating. when i had to forgive my hubby with the emotional affair, i had to do some serious soulsearching and consulting with the big homie [read: god]. it wasn't easy but we're both better for it.
both situations are wrong however, but i would forgive a physical affair than emotional affair.
Just wanted to say thanks for the back up on ssso about the testing post even though u was way late. I am a woman and i recently learned this who concept from an internet radio show. It made a tone of sense in my mind, but trying to explain it was another story so much doubt came from the resistance of this truth. Im like why would a dude lie about something that could help us out! i still cant figure out why nobody wants to believe even after its been proven. As for me i plan to use this much to my advantage because i know its going to save me/ has been saving me from heart ache. i just wish the females would listen !!
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