Monday, May 18, 2009

A Tale of Two C's . . .


*check out TMCY's Letter to Facebook Freddie. it was the catalyst to this post.


Often women have complaints about men's dating discourtesies (is that a word?) and "courting" abuse, but as I often tell ladies, this ish is all your fault. We could go into a indepth conversation as to what you should or shouldn't permit as a single woman, but yall probably know all about that yet haven't taken the time or energy or aren't willing to accept the risk of being lonely on a considerable amount of nights as you realize that men are foul and you're simply tired of the batteries running low on the rabbit to put any sort of requirements into place.


So instead, let's discuss how you can tell if you're being courted vs. being chased.


First, we dinstinctively define the difference between the two c's. Being courted is rooted in a man's interest in you. . . Being chased is rooted in a man's interest in what you had on and how good you looked in it the night he met you. Courting is a necessary must do based on our sincere desire to know more about you. Chasing is a part of a deep rooted, cave man DNA makeup thirst for the opposite sex. Courting is something we as men generally shy away from due to the level of physical, emotional, financial and mental investment it requires. Chasing we can do in our sleep!


[Let's pause a sec before this next one. . . it may hurt].


Courting is something that we do to women which we respect or are required to respect. Chasing is something that we do with women that we could really give a care less if they make it pass the next week or so. (- - - side note, almost all courtships start off from the male perspective as a chase. It is the women's reaction to the chase which could cause a courtship to begin - - - )


So, getting back on task, let's go about putting together a list of identifiers to help you ladies know if you're being courted or chased. I'll start us off with a few. . .


1. As described by TMCY's letter to Freddie, Facebook/SMS Messaging are tools of the chaser: think efficiency!


2. An invite to the club vs. an invite to the movies/theatre/play/etc.: Alcohol + Harmones = Bad Choices. When a man's chasing, a female's bad choices can be just as astonishing and exciting to men as the Trailblazer's decision to pass on MJ was to the Bulls in the 1984 draft (ladies, if you don't know what I'm talking about . . . find out . . . this can be a very useful tool in moving yourself from the being chased to being courted category) ?


3. Morton's vs. McDonald's: self explanatory.


4. Lunch Dates vs. Dinner Dates: for a guy to carve out Saturday Lunch time which could very well be spent watching some sporting activity, participating in some sporting activity or sitting around with friends or at the barber shop talking about some sporting activity is a great clue. And based on the results of the dinner date . . . you've heard this before "the only thing open that late at night are . . . .").


Feel free to contribute . . . .

5 comments:

Bailey said...

Courting is something that we do to women which we respect or are required to respect. Chasing is something that we do with women that we could really give a care less if they make it pass the next week or so. (- - - side note, almost all courtships start off from the male perspective as a chase. It is the women's reaction to the chase which could cause a courtship to begin - - - )

Good point. I believe that when a man is genuinely interested in a woman, he studies (not stalks) her and tries to learn everything about her and get to know her better. If he is truly interested, he is respectful towards her. Some women do welcome the chase by not shutting down the "chase" advances from the start and setting a standard that the man has to live up to if he really wants a chance at something beyond courting & chasing.

Robert Weaver said...

I remember having the "standards and expectations" you speak of set by my wife when I first met her, from day one. Hence the reason she is now my wife and the other girls I was "chasing" at the time got the pink slip out the blue smack dab in the face like a flying brick cause I was thinking, "I'm going to have to put some effort into this one and I know I ain't gonna have time to be playing around with yall still".

Bailey said...

@Rob: Right. In addition to concentrating your efforts on your now wife, somewhere in the chase of the other women, you probably realized that if they were willing to settle for anything, they probably weren't the ones for you.

ash. bunnie. said...

Courting: sending flowers on the bday.

Chasing: sending the "we getting up later txt?" @ 5:30 PM on the bday.

Women don't really realize the power of having standards. If you accept these chasing ways from the get-go, you do not have the right to feel slighted when the guy dismisses you. I'm not saying to be bougie, but you shouldn't be willing to accept any-o treatment from a guy.

great post.

Robert Weaver said...

@ash: you're correct. we men pretty much adhere to any rules that are set forth, we just try to take advantage of every loophole or stretch said rules without breaking them. Problem is, many women don't make the rules clear for us or don't set them in place at all. This is a single man's dream! and I couldn't stress more how sacrifice is a part of this equation. Being self sufficient and sometimes lonely are unfortunate requirements in some instances when women decide to invoke rules for respect. Just make sure the heated blanket works!

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