I liken asking someone you meet for the first time questions about themselves and their dating history to asking a used car salesman about the quality of a car you're interested in purchasing: you very well knew from the beginning that the answer you would receive would not only inevitably be disappointing, but that there will always be a sense of uncertainty with regards to if you received the absolute truth or not. This is the reason the CarFax product is such a hot sale. It reduces the dissonance associated with the purchase and permits you to comfort your self with a detailed car history that in the least, allows you to rationalize your purchase decision even if the car breaks down in two weeks.
But there are no MateFax products on the market. It would be an exceptional idea. A detailed dating history of your potential mate that you could pull even before you went on your first date. You notice an attractive guy or gal (simliar to a freshly detailed car on a used car lot), walk up to him or her and kick on their bumpers and check for dents or oil on the ground around them. You ask for their PIN# (PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER) and let them know you'll get back to them in a couple days. You immediately go home and jump on the matefax.com website to run their history. Your detailed report is produced in minutes:
OWNERSHIP HISTORY:
Year Born: 1978
Estimated Length of Average Relationship: 6 mos.
Estimated Sexual Partners Per Year: 7
Total Sexual Partners: 105
Total Sexual Parners with reported cases of STD: 17 (16%)
EMPLOYER:
Harolds Chicken Shack #73: 8yrs
ICE Theatres: 3 yrs
TITLE PROBLEMS:
FICO Score: 512
Degree: Associates in General Studies from Kennedy King College
# Years to Recieve Degree: 7.5
Reported Accident / Damage:
1996 - Assault Charge dismissed by former Ex-Girlfriend. Order of Protection Enforced.
1999 - Multiple Non-Labeled Prescriptions bottles found in vehicle for "General Health Issues" from local clinic known for STD prowess.
2002 - Filed police report for excessive car damage on vehicle including but not limited to sugar being poured in tank, key scratches and "BITCH ASS" spray painted on door and brick in window.
Other Information:
Children: 6
Baby Mommas: 4
End Report.
Your MateFax report has saved you time, hardship and money for the low, low price of $29.99. I do however see the potential detriments associated with "erroneous" information as maybe received with your typical CarFax report. People will start stealing PIN numbers like credit fraud. You'll have to check your report monthly to ensure no misinformation being reported (there's no greater pain for a man than to have been reported to have slept with a woman . . . for which he actually didn't receive the joy of sleeping with her). You'd have to entertain requests from friends asking to get on your MateFax report to get the residuals of you actually being a decent dude. Almost like a co-signer. And similiar to the car market, your MateFax report will only approve you for a late model Ford Festiva type woman when you really want a BMW 745 type female.
What would your MateFax (or your current/ex's MateFax) report say?
Posts
2 comments:
this was GREAT! they have a similiar site i always frequent called dontdatehimgirl.com but ur idea is muuuuuuch better. would u know Rob, i had a man's babymama well LEGAL WIFE drop his kid off at my house pissed cuz he didn't come home? now hani hani loooove the kids but i was so shocked and taken aback. i had to watch jr. while his dad was at work/not reachable by phone while the wife did whatever! all of this after he told me he was single and didn't have any kids! [now u understand y i date whiteguys lol] i'm terrified of the histories and if i could check matefax, it'd ease some stress. i exclude brothas from my dating options because i know, "he's cool now, but he do dress well..prolly on the DL/ or its a matta o' time before babymama's come springing from the trees like wild monkeys with banchees hanging from hips...." ;P
damn. not dropping off the kids. i must give it to her though, what a elaborate and concrete way to make a point. in reading your post, i have already come up with an offshoot of the MateFax.com idea. MateScreen.com. When guys and girls meet new people, they give them a personalized business card with a 1-800-MATE-SCRN phone number and their Personal Account Number. I will personally screen these people over the phone and let you know if it's worth your while or not.
Post a Comment