This is not a "badger white people" post. If you take it as that, it's simply because you haven't read the post in it's entirety or perhaps I haven't clearly communicated my thoughts. Either way, the intent is not to badger any person because of they're color.
I tell people all the time that I am purposely naive. Being such soothes me. It permits me to allow people to make mistakes because my opinion of them isn't yet tarnished by preconceptions based on their look or what I've heard. I say this as a preface to the path of thought I'm about to embark on.
Race, in a manner which invokes emotions of troubling times of yester year, has come to head like a visible pimple on the face of America on Prom Night. It's not pretty and as much as you attempt to squeeze the puss out, the mark is still there. The election of a black President has brought joy to most of us, uncertainty to some of us and anger to a small few of us. I will not bore you with a prologue on those who are joyous in celebration and the reason why they should be. Nor will I dull you by scolding those who are of the small few which are angered that a man of color and of a unfamiliar reflection will hold the world's most coveted seat of power.
However, I will spend some time on those of us who are uncertain on how they should feel about our next President being a black man. To be uncomfortable with different isn't racist. It is rather natural. To continue being uncomfortable with different is the choice to be ignorant and in turn may be the choice to be racist.
I have no problem with those that are uncomfortable with different . I often find myself in this state. These people aren't racist . . . they're just white. For so long they have become accustomed to a certain standard of how things should go. It is a template that has held true for most of this countries existence in white America. White men and women will likely go to college, marry, have 2.3 children, earn a nice living, put those 2.3 children through college, assist rearing their grandchildren, retire with a substantial 401k and . . . . their President will be a white male. Is this assumption so ridiculous? The 43 Presidents before have been white males, some holding this office on numerous occasions. I don't feel as if persons who maintain these assumptions are racist . . . they're just white.
I once had a white person for which I spent a considerable amount of time with as a result of being teammates on my college bball team ask me why do I brush my hair. He assumed that after getting it cut, it stayed exactly how it was cut. All the time. I was younger and thought. . ."that's some racist shit". But I had to reflect and think, he's not being racist, he's just being white. All of his life, he lived in a very small and white town which had no darker pigmented people. Never saw a black guy get ready for church on Sunday, prepare for his date on Prom Night or ready himself for an interview. He wasn't being racist, he was just being white and hadn't experienced the particulars and nuances of close habitation that he was subject to as a result of playing basketball and rooming with a black guy.
There is a different to being [insert color here] and being a racist. Not all people who ask questions of, have fears about or aren't comfortable with people of another color are racist. It is those who go out of there way to justify their unfounded assumptions, maintain their level of ignorance and encourage the disdain for another simply based on the color of their skin that should be labeled as the racist; for they have truly earned that denigrating title.
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8 years ago
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Enculturation and diversity is what it's called my brother not they are just white. It's deeper then that. Oh I'm sorry I may not be dat brother because I am the product of generations of racial intergration equalling the brother I am today. My brown face, my braon back, my black,(******, well thats private but it's the sum of my soul simply put light skin or not I am BLACK, we are BLACK. Furthermore I am as many a black man or just a man who is a father to his children and teaches love and respect to the best of his abilities to his daughter and children but according to this blog s*iiiiit if a women has problems then their father wasn't their or lacked well what about MOM's. Whats their role or duty. In addition as far as black people if we are not treated equal then we have legal remedies to obtain what is equal and we are not shy about the fight or what we have to give up or suffer to get equality but many people of many races have the same story just another circumstance. I don't know one black person that has stated they are gratefull we have a black president and for that matter not one white person do I know that has stated that we should be grateful. I spoke on many of the writings on this blog in one response but in conclusion black men, black fathers or simply men or simply fathers don't have to be disrespected for man to appreciate women or for one to convince themselves they are no longer a player and a one women man today. There are many bad women, bad men, bad fathers and bad mothers and, they are all responsible for their own actions despite the environment they grew up in or the enculturation that is the credit to their society thoughts today. If a adult today is at a loss of things in their childhood then they should seek to remedy that privately and not in a public forum and if a man needs to convince themselves they respect women thus must put down men then that also should be private and, not in a public forum. I respect what you write and although I wear contacts my vision is very clear.
Gary Freeman
You're right, you did speak on many of the individual blog articles I've written in this response. I'll try to address them all, sorry if I miss any.
My call to arm for black fathers should never be taken as a "put down". This job for which we ourselves apply and sign up for through our own actions, is a job which every black father needs to take seriously and perform it with courage and a badge of honor. Being that you're a father yourself, you should feel encouraged by that premise. I cannot put a man down for what he is doing. However, if the black man isn't doing what you're supposed to be, then the put down feeling he receives is perhaps just as much a reflection of what the black man feels inside as it is a reflection of my judgment of his ability and willingness to perform his role. But we must adress the realities of the situation when it comes to the presence of the black male in the black family. Their presence is scarce. 70% of black households are maintained (and maintained quite well most often due to black mothers) without the father being present. 70%. That percentage is simply abysmal. It is difficult to recall any performance in which 30% is considered a success. Score 30% on a test, you recieve an "F". Shoot 30% from the free throw line, you're considered a poor shooter. Hit only 30% of your annual sales goal and you'd be lucky to have a job the quarter. In turn, black fathers have received an "F" when it comes to child rearing. They are considered poor performers at the free throw line of fatherhood. And it is no wonder why they cannot keep a job in the lives of their children or subsequently the lives of their mates.
Are there bad women, bad/absent mothers ( . . .bad people for that matter), of course. However, the statistics are clear. More often than not (much more often than not), the case is that the black father isn't present in the lives of their children, not the reverse. Until we take up our 70% as black fathers, or at least bring the fault a bit more even, we need to be more concerned with performing our role as Father rather than hoping to get the justified blame off our backs.
I myself had the privilege of attending Obama's election night event. 250,000+ people. Assuming 10% of those were black, 25,000 black people were delighted, overjoyed and absolutely grateful. Liken that to the many who made the extensive trip to D.C. to celebrate this achievement. And despite the number of white people who are just as greatful, there are a minority which do feel we should be greatful for our first African American President (most of the minority have AM radio shows. See: Limbaugh, Medved, John & Cisco). The entire world isn't happy with this celebration and culmination of diversity and crystallization of the American dream.
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